Saturday, December 29, 2007

santy claus.

Spoiler Alert! Santa Claus does not exist. How do people (8 years old or not) honestly believe in their heart of hearts that a man (just a man, one man) could fly around the whole world (the entire globe) in one night and deliver presents to every child under the age of 12?

I think Santa Claus has ruined Christmas. Santa Claus took away from the birth of the Savior. I think it's time for Jesus to take back the manger and his day of birth.

I'm going to tell my kids that Jesus rides around in a sleigh and delivers presents to all the children who proclaim his name. That's a least a smaller number and possibly more reasonable.

Then, I'm going to say, "Just kidding, Jesus loves you though. Merry Christmas."

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Thursday, December 20, 2007

vast amounts of wealth.

Unbeknownst to several hundreds of people I have an incredibly soft heart. Especially for elderly people, white middle-class teenagers who can only make a 25 on their ACT and therefore not get a college scholarship, people who eat alone, frizzy haired youngsters whose mothers will not buy them a Chi and of course, for anyone who has never truly experienced Jesus.

Like most people my soft heart comes out big time at Christmas. Especially around the Salvation Army bell ringers. This is usually because the bell ringers are often people who cannot find a job or are homeless. (I know this because for extra money in college I was going to ring bells.)

Today at the mecca of shopping in the southern United States I was caught off guard by two bell-ringers. The first was an older black man. He had a tambourine and was dancing like a drunken man who just won the lottery. The next man, I promise, was at least 85 years old. He had on a festive button-down shirt, an even more festive tie and then an amazing sweater vest with snowmen on it. He had his head shaved with a tiny, little Mohawk running down the middle. It was dyed green and red.

All this to say, need has no season.

year of the boar.

I know LC just did this, but she blogs too much and I can’t keep up. So I’m doing it too. And while LC has had quite a year, mine has been rather uneventful. There were, however, some highlights...

Janary: Started off with a bang – LC and I became friends! We took a really fun roadtrip to the ATX to seal the deal. Who knew what would become of us?

February: Shortly thereafter I started traveling for work. Got to see some real neat places like Milwaukee and Buffalo (in February, mind you).

March: Worked my life away…

April: It snowed on Easter. And I started staying with Coops, Mel, and Kristin in H-town. Loved, loved, loved living with them. They made life better. Got to stand besides one of my besties as she became a Mrs.

May: I went on a BANK reunion vaca with college friends. Destini forever!

June: I turned 23! Wooooo yeah! Got to spend a weekend at David Christie’s lakehouse wakeboarding with college friends… one of the best weekends of the year.

July: Spent the fourth with some really, really cool people who I have now gotten to know even better and love even more (go RAMS!). I also floated down a river, lost my shorts, and officially bonded with Anne Carter.

August: I stopped traveling for work and started laying out a lot. Tambone, mom and I went to Las Vegas for the first time to celebrate. Just gamble those sorrows away.

September: Roadtripped it to Tennessee to visit the Dockerys. On the way home, I learned all the lyrics ot "Fancy" with LC and got a tour of Russvegas. I went to Disney World with two people that I love. We even ran a 10K while we were there.

October: LC turned 24 and we had a mad birthday bash. Themed. We were gangstas.

November: Got to visit Fredericksburg, TX for the first time in my life. Slept in a hotel room with my sister and her husband… hmmm.

December: Ran 26.2 miles and realized that I might have the very best friends in the whole world. They were all there to cheer me on.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

year in review.






Ah…2007. This will be a year I will forever look back on and mumble under my breath about it. It was a pretty rough year. However, some wonderful things did happen.

In somewhat chronological order:


Of course I have to mention first (because it did happen in January) that Britt and I became friends. And thus, the blog was birthed a few months later.

I experienced some extreme job funnies. I can look back and laugh a little about these funnies now, but at the time—not so funny. I also interviewed for some really awesome jobs. Best interview? Probably the job at the foil company. A Chinese man, who spoke very little to no English, interviewed me and told me my resume was impressive. There is not one impressive thing on my resume. Not one.

I met a man named Steve. Some friends would say this man saved my life, I say he changed it. We are all VERY thankful for Steve.

I bought some Vans. The shoes. Although, I am looking to purchase a van (not plural).

I got to start a new job in the ghetto that is awesome! I get come to work everyday and laugh and play jokes. And work really hard, too.

Humberto jacked my car. I lost a lot of faith in society that June night. You can re-read about it here. That day was a very tough day, but I also go to go to a Fergie concert for free. And let’s be honest—attending a Fergie concert is every young girl’s dream.

I got to live in a house with some of the greatest people ever for a summer and I got to move into a house with the best roommate I’ve ever had. I celebrated the birth of democracy with a group of people whom I’ve grown to adore.

Some of my closest friends got married and I got to shake that azz all over the dance floor. This was also around the time that I picked up some puppies off the side of the road only to have them all die about 10 days later. R.I.P. Shannon Michelle, Robert and Jason.

I met someone who eats McRibs. On purpose. And likes them.

I turned 24 and had a themed birthday party. I haven’t had one of those ever. I became re-hooked on Beverly Hills 90210 and One Tree Hill. I watched every episode of The Office ever made. I memorized the presidents in chronological order. I took some road trips. I reunited with my college besties and found out that they will let their children play with mine. I studied the book of Daniel with Beth and some of my closest friends in Dal. I hit up happy hour. A lot. I stopped buying Polo shirts and bought a pair of designer jeans, something I never thought I would do. I started a blog. I met Jesus face-to-face. I’d do 2007 again, but with less Mt. Dew and more queso.

Take a look, it's in a book!

“Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.” -Mortimer J. Adler


Right now, there are probably seven or eight books on my nightstand, plus a few magazines. And I am currently reading all of them. Every night, I’ll read an article or two from one of the mags, a few chapters from one of the books, maybe a chapter from another book, and then I usually top it off with something fascinating that I found on NYTimes.com.

I love to read. I am addicted to it. If there is print in front of me, I read it. All of it – cereal boxes, newspapers, magazines, candy wrappers. My friends are sometimes aggravated by this addiction. But it is not an addiction that I am willing to get rid of. I think it is a good thing.

I want to encourage you to read, but not necessarily the kind of junk I find myself constantly reading throughout the day, although anything is better than nothing. When you read, it’s like thinking with another person’s mind for a little while. The better the literature, the better the mind you are borrowing. So read something good... I promise it will enhance your life.

“When I look back, I am so impressed again with the life-giving power of literature. If I were a young person today trying to gain a sense of myself in the world, I would do it again by reading, just as I did when I was young.” - Maya Angelou

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

one year.

It’s almost been a year.

It’s almost been a year since I called you and informed you that you were engaged, since we shared a meal together, since we walked around and laughed at ridiculous statements made by both our mothers. It’s almost been a year since you texted me and informed that our junior high basketball coach wanted to wish me a, “Merry Freakin’ Christmas.” It’s almost been a year since I got to sit with you and share my life, it’s almost been a year since I got to sit with you and worship the birth of our Savior together with our families that loved you. It’s almost been a year since you called and asked me to skip work and hang out with you one more day. It’s almost been a year since you forced a hug out of me and told me you were proud of me and that you loved me.

In another couple of days it will have been almost a year since you told me you were the happiest person in the world. It will have almost been a year since we laughed about your up-coming New Year’s date with a gay man. It will have almost been a year since I decided to wait another day or two to call you.

And then, a few days after that it will have been almost a year since I thought nothing could ever shake my faith or my world. Almost a year since I broke down and begged Jesus to wake me up. Almost a year since my mother held me so I could sleep at night. It’s been almost a year since I thought I knew Jesus in a real way.

It’s been almost a year since I had to look your father in the eye and tell him I didn’t notice anything different. It’s almost been almost a year since I thought I could’ve done something had I only known. It’s been almost a year since I hugged your mother and she told me that you thought I was the funniest person in the world. It’s been almost a year since I walked out of your house without a smile on my face and without getting to tell you some line from a rap song.

It’s been almost a year since I said goodbye forever. Almost a year since I questioned you and your plans. It’s been almost a year since my father held my hand as I wept at the mere thought of you being gone. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen your face. It’s been almost a year since I lost my innocence and everything I had ever known to be true.

It’s been almost a year since you brought Jesus to my face. It’s been almost a year since the only hope I’ve had is absolutely in Him.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

friends.

There are certain times in a person's life when they realize they have friends. Not the junior high kind, the real kind. Legitimate, long-time, real-life friends.

My senior year in high school my friends threw me the surprise party of the century. Legitimate, long-time, real-life friends.

In college, time and time again my friends proved their legitimacy by asking me to be in their weddings, by hanging out with me even though I wasn't in their sorority and by inviting me to Chicken Finger Friday. Legitimate, long-time, real-life friends.

After you graduate from high school you never think you'll find friends as good as the ones you grew up with. And after college you think you'll never be able to find anyone who matches up with your college besties. And then you do and you're surprised.

And then, those friends come to your house and have a cleaning intervention with you. Afterwards, your room is clean and you know... legitimate, long-time, real-life friends.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

.2

If I was going to run a marathon that last .2 would kill me.
I'm positive of this.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

thanks.giving.



I am really thankful for a lot of things. In no particular order...

1. My family. I have a really great, fun family who enjoy my company immensely. They especially like when I tell stories from childhood, I'm thankful that they listen.

2. My roommate. Lil' Morgie is a jewel. A rare and precious jewel. She is fun, too.

3. Laura Brittain, I'm thankful that I have a friend I can share a blog with. She is the bestest best friend ever.

4. Facebook.

5. DVR.

6. i-Tunes/ i-Pod

7. Fleece weather.

8. My job.

9. A sovereign God who loves me.

thankful

As we are approaching my favorite holiday, I've noted a few things to give thanks for (in no particular order):

1. TV shows on DVD.
2. Friends to watch them with (for hours on end).
4. Inside jokes. Would love to be a part of one someday.
5. Larger-than-life-size posters of John Krasinksi at the Gap.
6. Happy hours.
7. Birthday parties.
8. Hand written notes.
9. Laura Cooperisms.
10. Belly laughs.

Notes: This is an organic list... check back for additions.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

What did Teddy Roosevelt do for you?

Lately, I've become very intrigued with the life of one, Theodore Roosevelt. To us, he's Teddy, to his close friends he was simply T.R. or Theodore. Very interesting that all of the world called this man by a nickname, but those closest to him called him by his formal name.

Why the crap is Teddy Roosevelt on Mount Rushmore with the likes of some the greatest Americans to ever live? Does Ted really live up to the likes of GDub, Teej and Abes? Does he? Good question. I don't really think so. But, then again I think Franklin Pierce is fascinating.

Ted was one of the very first environmentalists, today his equal would be someone like Al Gore. Strike one against being on Rushmore. But, actually not. He set aside almost 190 million acres for natural forests, wildlife refuges and the like. Good ideas, but was that act up with freeing the slaves? Oh, he also created a national bird preserve. What the heck even is that?

T.R. was the first American to win the Nobel Prize. I say it would've happened sooner or later. Still not up to par with Teej.

I will say his foreign policy was impressive. It was under his watch that we became a global power. Way to go, T.R. But, you're no GDub.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

happenings



1. The most popular news story on CNN.com today is entitled "Seinfeld: Wife not guilty of vegetable plagiarism." WHAT?

2. Ange (with an e) and I have been playing outside lately. On the monkey bars, at the tennis court, and on the basketball court. Just like little kids.

3. Tami has a boyfriend. Noelle has a boyfriend.

4. To my gurlz...today is the perfect excuse for you to dress up like the skanky-ass sluts that you really are. Go for it.

5. HAPPIE HALLOWEENIE!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Hills

Jesus sent LC a good guy, so she called Brody to not watch a movie.

LC used pseudo-model Gavin to get Brody’s attention and it worked. Of course. Thank you, MTV, for your editing tricks. Speaking of editing tricks…

Spencer’s facial hair makes no sense to me. One segment it’s full-on, the next it’s gone. I am so confused.

Heidi and Spencer are about to blow up. I don’t see how their relationship can last much longer. Heidi seems to be figuring Spencer out and Spencer isn’t doing much to stop it. Maybe Heidi’s record dropping will bring them closer together. Oh wait, doesn’t she have a real job now? Where in the world did she find time to record an album? So many questions…

I think Brody and Lauren might be good together. Ugh, gag me for saying that. But, when they’re together they seem to be somewhat faux-happy. So, good for them.

I’m going to start googling churches in LA and then post them on their myspace pages.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Hills...Reunited and It Feels So Good

I am so glad I have a personality.



Jen Bunney seems to need a job. Why else would she be calling LC again? Come on, people, she is trying to ride this reality wave just like Spencer and Heidi. Her new nose is cute though.

LC confessed to Audrina
that maybe she isn't an awesome friend and maybe she's been stepping on people's toes a little bit. Uh-oh, is someone growing up? Is someone realizing the error of her ways? Doubtful. But, she did apologize and had decided to let her friends make mistakes.

Lo's Quote of the Night, "Justin's a loser. Whatever! ... This store is addddooooorrrraaaabbbbbllllleeeee."

Spencer is really an idiot. I have no more to say on that subject.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Everyone Should Have a Friend Like Jaclyn Cleveland

Jaclyn Cleveland makes, not only America, but the world and specifically my life better. Jaclyn Cleveland makes me laugh. She introduced me to Taco C and the mall food court.

Jaclyn is a rarity. A fine example of who I want my children to be like someday. She has excellent hair and great teeth. Did I mention how great a dancer she is?

She is well-rounded. She can play video games and she was a cheerleader. She likes to sing country music and can do hip-hop choreographed dances.

Jaclyn Cleveland is good people. Jaclyn Cleveland is apple pie and Coca-Cola.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Rebuttal

12. She makes the best burned CDs. I think this is true. I can't say I've ever met anyone who could mix a CD like me.
11. When she drinks too much she can't feel her face. This is true. Luckily, it doesn't happen often.
10. She's effing hot. Obviously. I have no comment on this, but I did get some new eye shadow.
9. She knows who Franklin Pierce is. And when he was born. And when he died. And most of the details of his presidency. I adore Franklin. I don't think he was an awesome president, but he wasn't ugly. And it's important to know history. Plus, I like history. And I really like knowing stuff that other people don't.
8. She writes excellent hand-written notes. I have very nice penmanship.
7. She appreciates rap music. I appreciate a nice beat and a person's ability to rhyme. And I love to shake that azz.
6. She has great hair. I take care of it. I use proper products. I like my hair.

5. She can get away with wearing vans and polos all the time. I can work that.
4. She loves people so well. Except the ones I don't like.
3. She's funny. Like, real funny. Funnier than most. I took some classes as a child.
2. She chronicles the lives of her friends via facebook albums more efficiently than anyone we know. I know people who are better.
1. Her friendship just makes our lives better, richer, and fuller. We love her!!! Ditto Cowling. As in, my friends make my life better, richer and fuller.

Friday, October 5, 2007

why we're glad LJ and Reg did the dirty.


In honor of LC's day of birth, I've asked a few of her closest friends what they love most about her. Here is a top twelve (couldn't narrow it down to just ten) list of why we love LC:


12. She makes the best burned CDs.
11. When she drinks too much she can't feel her face.
10. She's effing hot. Obviously.
9. She knows who Franklin Pierce is. And when he was born. And when he died. And most of the details of his presidency.
8. She writes excellent hand-written notes.
7. She appreciates rap music.
6. She has great hair.
5. She can get away with wearing vans and polos all the time.
4. She loves people so well.
3. She's funny. Like, real funny. Funnier than most.
2. She chronicles the lives of her friends via facebook albums more efficiently than anyone we know.
1. Her friendship just makes our lives better, richer, and fuller. We love her!!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Hills...Vegas

"Please act like you have a family that raised you in some
shame based religion." -- Tina Fey, 30 Rock


The kids from The Hills obviously missed out on that boat.

Elodie from the corner! Who knew she had it in her to completely pull one over on Heidi?! She's all about covering for Heidi, too bad she quit! Bam! But, in normal people land, that act was completely awful, unprofessional and extremely immature.

Spencer might actually be an eight-year-old. After Heidi got the Elodie phone call, Heidi very sincerely says, “I love you,” and Spencer quips back, “No, you don’t!” He definitely got that from the “I’m Awesome” book.

Lo might be a skank? Who knew Lo made bad decisions? I was a little taken back by her make-out with Frankie, but she had already won me over earlier in the episode when she said, “First one to make Justin Bobby smile wins.” She’s just a step above everyone else in Los Angeles. I’m going to send some Baptists to knock on her door because I think if she accepts Jesus the others will soon follow.

Brody is worthless. What does he even do? His dad isn’t even THAT famous. I mean, his dad isn’t like, Harrison Ford or George Clooney or Johnny Cash. His dad is an Olympic medallist. Which is hardly a reason for Brody to be famous. Yet another reason I resent my father for working hard and providing a normal, stable, loving environment for me to grow up in. It’s impossible to ride a normal father’s coat-tails. Actually, maybe that is why I don’t resent him at all.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Why You Should Marry Kendal Haug

1. Kendal is insightful. He always brings something interesting to any conversation.

2. Kendal is generous. He often buys people whole meals, not just drinks.

3. He is going to be a preacher. If you're in to clergy, he's your man.

4. He is friends, scratch that, besties with Ben freakin' Box. That probably seals the deal for most people.

5. He is good with computers. Real good.

6. He isn't ugly. I'm just saying.

Thriving on Insecurity

I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at ease in my house and prospering in my palace.
-Daniel 4:4

We’ve all been there. Those moments in life when you’re sailing along smoothly and then wham!, you suddenly find yourself thrashing about in the “in between”: in between jobs, in between relationships, in between an old idea of yourself and a new one. And its darned uncomfortable. Security has always been the objective, the holy grail. You know what I’m talking about: social security, national security, personal security, job security, financial security, and the list goes on. In America, we are bombarded by this ideal that we need security, and that we should do everything we can to attain it. I’ve always suspected, however, that this is not God’s design for the lives of his children. And recently, it’s been brought to my attention more than ever before.

To their detriment, I think many people don’t realize that all those “securities” they’ve worked so hard for are, if not defunct, at least a little iffy. And unlike your insurance policy or lifetime warranty on your latest major purchase, in life, there are no guarantees. The world fools us into thinking we need every earthly comfort and luxury to be content, but in the end, all of those things will only leave us wanting more.
"Soon we grow insecure with our present means of security and demand something more... or something different. All this world and its inhabitants can offer us is a false sense of security."
Much like Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4, we may feel content and even prosperous for a while. But if you keep reading, it’s not long before just as he is on the roof of his palace admiring is kingdom (“while the words were still in the king’s mouth!), that Ol’ Nebby is put in his place when heaven declared that his kingdom was departed from him, he was driven from men, and his dwelling be with the beasts of the field. With one breath Babylon, the greatest kingdom to date, is relinquished!

The good news is that God offers us a security that is truly lasting and resilient against the toughest circumstances. The truth is, our world will shake at times. God designs it that way so that we may see what is real. That is why, contrary to worldly viewpoints, I believe that some insecurity in life is purposeful and profitable… and we can thrive because of it.

“Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken-that is, things that have been made-in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:26-29

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Hills...Engaged and Underage

I have the ultimate love/hate relationship with The Hills. Here's why this week.

I have never been a recovering alcoholic, like our boy, Jason but, I feel like if you're a recovering alcoholic you shouldn't be throwing mega house parties with booze all around you if you're trying to sober up. Why put yourself in that position? And why get engaged? Obviously you're trying to fill a void that alcohol can no longer cover. Seek professional help, son.

Whitney, Whitney, Whitney! Last night was all Whitney! Finally! I think Audrina and LC should make a rule that states, "I will not go anywhere without Lo or Whitney around." Things just go better when Lo and Whitney are around.

Spencer should die. Ok, maybe that statement was a little strong, but come on! The guy is a freak on a leash. The facial hair makes me vom. His outlook on marriage makes me want to cry. And he doesn't want free crap from people? He is mentally challenged.

Side note: if you are ever lucky enough to go shop for a wedding dress with me, please do not tell me how awful my relationship is. And please do not ask me continually if I'm having doubts. The wedding dress place is a place of support and encouragement, whether you're pumped up for the nupitals or not. So, save the bad vibes for Area or La Deux.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Why Jim Halpert may be the perfect man...

...and why he deserves his own adjective.

Tom Cruise? No thanks. Brad Pitt? Old news. David Beckham? Nah… I want to marry a Jim.

A few days ago, I decided to watch The Office on the new “watch instantly” feature on Nextflix. I quickly became hooked and emotionally involved with the characters, namely Jim. With each episode, I find Jim more attractive and loveable. But I can’t really figure out why. I mean, he’s a talented salesman, he loves kids, he has a great sense of humor, he’s sensitive, he has the ability to make friends quickly, he’s a clever prankster, and he has the best facial expressions. All great qualities, but there is something irresistible about him that I can’t put my finger on. Some intangible quality that just can’t be put into words… a “Jimness.” A new adjective should really be created for whatever it is that he possesses. But until then, we'll settle for "jimness"... and revel in it.

Flashback

I found this email I wrote to about 20 of my closest friends on my last day of college. I was sure proud of myself. Enjoy.


Hello friends.

I just wanted to let each of you know that this is my last day of class ever. In fact, I may never step onto campus, as a student, again. I think it's fitting that it is raining right now as I am about to leave. I think it reflects how the campus is going to be without my presence-- gloomy and dark. Wouldn't you agree?

I've had a pretty good run during my four years here. I've successfully used up the money we pay in our tuition to have free printing in all campus computer labs. In the last week alone I've printed off upwards of 300 pages of paper. I have cheated campus parking out of hundreds of dollars in parking fees. I park in the deck almost daily and usually pay for 30 minutes a day. Yesterday, I was in the deck for 6 hours and I only paid for 17 minutes. I have gotten numerous people into football games without proper student identification and when I worked at the HPER I even let people in without their I.D. (gasp). I also won four intramural championships AND never once attended a single meeting for a campus student organization. That's huge in my book! How many people can go to college for four years and not be involved in one single activity, yet still have a few friends? I was also one of the original people on facebook at the U of A and I credit it getting big due to the fact that I invited a few key people to join and the rest is history. Yes, I think it is safe to say I have left my mark.

Friends, I hope you each have a wonderful Thursday and that you will remember me on this glorious, glorious day. If you are experiencing the same thing that I am today, congratulations. If you're not, but you have already experienced this, thanks for blazing a trail for me to follow. If you're not, but you hope to someday-- press on, brother, press on.

Good day,

lc

P.S.
I have three classes today, but it's only fitting that I skip my 2:00, which would be my last class EVER.

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Hills...Jason's Back

The Hills once again is making me want to gauge my eyes out with a dull knife. This week is mostly in part to Spencer and Heidi. What else is new?

Heidi is not a hard worker. How did she get that promotion? I am just like, "Wha?" I mean, come on. And Elodie is right, she doesn't know what is right and what is wrong. Was she calling her out saying that it's obviously her fault she doesn' have any friends any more? I think so.

Jason has changed and is a whole new person. It's unreal. He has a personality. He has facial expressions. I can say this and not be embarrassed-- I kind of think he might be a decent human. I mean, at least good at breathing. He can't date anyone I care about, but if I saw him at the mall I'd say hi. For sure.

No Lo time this week. I think it's only matter of time before MTV offers her her own show, but being the smart, well-rounded individual that she is, she will turn that down. And fast. Good one, Lo.

I really think they are on the verge of discovering Jesus. Join me in praying for them. The Real Worlders found Him. LC can too!


Monday, September 10, 2007

The Hills...LC Speaks Wisdom

I can honestly say that I actually think someone spoke sense to LC. Is it the Holy Spirit? I think so.

LC is speaking words of wisdom to Audrina. Now, normally I wouldn't encourage anyone to take LC's advise on life, because she doesn't make the best decisions, but Audrina can because she's an idiot. Guard your heart, LC. It is the wellspring of life.

Heidi got a promotion and Elodie got screwed. I can only throw a BIG OLE, "HOLY CRAP" out on that one. Spencer must've thrown some money at Brent Bolthouse.


I buy shirts at thrift stores, but I am not a tool. Derek is. Derek is a tool. Vintage doesn't make you cool. If LC says someone makes her want to stab her eyes the guy must suck.

Jason found his personality at rehab! Praise Him! I didn't know it was possible, but he showed signs of being able to start a conversation.

Next week looks promising.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Blog: In Two Parts

Part A: The Hills

I think this week was the first week I honestly did not need to throw up after watching. Some of the characters grew a backbone...or maybe our prayers are being answered?

Lo continues to be the saving grace of this season. If it wasn't for her down-to-earth attitude I'm not sure anyone could tolerate this show. Also, she argues such good points. Been dating someone for four months? They should be your boyfriend. Agreed.

Jen Bunney is new and improved! Lip implants and a nose job? I wonder if she and Heidi got a package deal? It was hard to get past her to new look to actually listen to her talk, but she was so normal! She didn't just automatically go along with Heidi in hating Lauren and the accusation of Brody actually starting "the rumors" (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!). She wanted facts.

The word homeboy is being introduced back into pop culture and it's not by a rapper, it's by a young white girl. Is it cold out? Is hell freezing over?


I can't help but think these kids are on the verge of discovering that something is missing in their life. I'm waiting for John Mayer's "Something Missing" to play at the end of an episode with previews for the next episode showing Lauren at church. It can happen!


PART B: The Road Trip

I've never been to Heaven, but I know it's not like Oklahoma. Cops everywhere.
Pulled back into Dallas at 3am. No fighting at all. I think we have Reba to thank for that.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

How Much is That Doggy on the Side of the Road?

On the way home from church this morning my oldest friend, Mal-Mal, and I picked up three little doggies on the side of the road. Mal-Mal is sweetest, kindest, most compassionate girl in the world and I couldn't say no to her and three puppies.

Now, my parents have three puppies at their house. They are so ready for me to return to the Big D. Especially since I keep feeding the doggies. And I named them.

I mean, I was just trying to love those dogs like Christ loves me. They are dirty, ragged, filthy, hungry little dogs and I love them. Just like I am dirty, filthy, awful and Christ loves me.

I cannot wait to share that lesson to a Sunday School class some day when I am 45. Money.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

LC's Last Post: Fact or Ficiton

I just want to address LC’s most recent post, “Arkansas Part II.” She makes some bold claims, some of which are true, most of which are not. For the record, here are my true opinions:

1. Mt. Dew = White trash skater drink. And LC's drink of choice.
2. The Clinton Library... Um, no thanks. Please, I used to work for Laura Bush herself.
3. Famous People from Arkansas? Highly unlikely unless you are talking about the Clintons (obvi), or some backwoods family with 27 kids.
4. Dinner with Laurie and Reggie... can hardly contain the excitement! I love LJ already and I am so pumped about meeting ol Reg. That part could not be more true.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Arkansas Part II


Call the Mayor. Hang up the banners. Align the parade route.
I'm coming home.

Brittain and I are driving to Arkansas. She is dropping me off in Little Rock. Someone should pick me up from there and I should be back in the grand dame of them all, Russellville, by Saturday morning.

On our road trip Brittain is pumped to do the following: drink a whole six pack of Mt. Dew on her own, stop at the Arkansas border and take a picture with the welcome sign, drive past the Clinton library, meet an Arkansas celebrity (I know people) and have dinner with Reggie and Laurie. It's scary how excited she is about this.

Mark your calendars, it ain't Labor Day unless I'm there. And guess what? I'll be there.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Hills Version 4.0

The Hills makes me want to ask someone to poke my eyes out. Here's why this week.

1. Engagement ring hand? As if last week didn't throw enough red flags at Spencer and Heidi's engagement, this one almost takes the cake: when getting her "Kobe Bryant" ring sized Spencer asks, "Well, which one is engagement ring hand? Put it on that one." It is my prayer that someone is in that church/casino/beach to stand up when the preacher/judge/actor says, "Does anyone have any objections?" For the love...someone have an objection.

2. "Home boy wore short shorts and combat boots to the beach!" That LC and this LC are a lot more alike than this LC would ever like to admit. She makes a strong point though-- no one wants to call that their boyfriend.

3. Heidi's Parents seem completely normal and concerned for their daughter and her future. Spencer doesn't have them completely fooled, which leads this LC to believe that more red flags will be flying. Actually, no. Heidi will most likely completely ignore her parents and how they feel and will soon be spray painting, "Spence and Heidi 2gether, 4ever" on her living room wall, while wearing a shirt that says, "Spencer's Little Angel."

4. Lauren Conrad needs new friends. This is a plea for all of the LA readers of the blog-- if you are in a Bible study and you live in LA, call Lauren and invite her to fellowship with you. Please? She needs some encouragement.

This week I have once again committed the "stars" of The Hills to prayer in hopes that they find Jesus and new friends before they start smoking crack on a semi-regular basis.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Jesus.

Some days I sit through sermons and I walk out confused. I read scripture and I get up from the table confused. Often I read someone else's view of a passage of scripture and I again walk away confused. However, one thing I am not confused about is Jesus.

Jesus loved. Jesus loves. Jesus loves me. He loves murderers. He loves sinners. He loves saints (not more than sinners) and He loves people who don't even love Him back.


Jesus tells me to love everyone. All the time. Whether they make me want to punch myself continually or not.

I don't walk away confused from that.

Love Jesus. Love People. Easy.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Hills...

Kick me while I'm down. The Hills makes me vom. Here's why this week.

1. Surprises. You cannot defend horrible decisions by calling them surprises. That's like saying, "Sorry, mom, I got drunk! It was a surprise! The DUI was the icing on the cake!" Bad idea.

2. Justin Bobby (Jeebs). I think he's real. That's the scariest part. And he's a hairdresser. Wait...have you seen HIS hair? By the way, the only way Justin Bobby could get better is if he introduced his sister Shannon Michelle to us. Also, "truth and time will tell." What does that mean? I don't get it.

3. Don't buy a wedding dress anytime soon. If you get engaged and your friends say, "Don't buy a wedding dress anytime soon." Something is wrong. Very wrong. I mean...

The Natural State

It’s come to my attention that people just do not appreciate the great state of Arkansas. Is it New York? No. Is it a state that used to be a country? No. Could you find diamonds there? Yes.

It hurts my heart to know that people look down upon the great state that nestled me in her loving arms until I was 22 and ready to try out my wings. Arkansas is home to my University, my family and the very well known Duggar Family (they have 17 children and counting!). Why the hate? Why hate on one of the smallest kid in the class? Arkansas may not be quantity, but it’s quality for sure. I mean, have you ever been to Dillard’s? Quality.

People hate what they don’t know. Clearly, lots of people do not know Arkansas. They don’t know that in the fall, you can drive to Northwest Arkansas and see trees that look like they’re one fire because of their leaves. People don’t know that you are never going to be bored in Arkansas, ever— a Wal-Mart is usually within 10-45 minutes of any given town. Don’t hate what you don’t know.



Arkansas is the motherland. Arkansas is home. Arkansas is good people. Arkansas is the closest thing to Heaven this side of the Mississippi.

Friday, August 17, 2007

she's just not that into you...

The no-excuses truth to understanding girls.
by Tange and Britt

It has recently come to our attention that although the book has been written on how to spot the red flags guys throw up when they are not into a girl, there is no such equivalent written to the other gender... men. So, in an effort to save all the clueless guys out there from wasted cell phone minutes, squandered date money, and akward conversations, we've put together of a list of the tell-tale indicators she's just not that into you.

She's just not that into you if...

1. She doesn't google you. If a girl is into you she is dying to know everything about you. Where did you grow up? How many siblings do you have? Where did you go to college? What was your degree in? Where do you work? Girls want to know that you have similar interests to determine if this might be more than just a free meal. Questions are an automatic green light. If she's not asking questions, she's just not that into you.

2. She doesn't call/text you back. If you find yourself calling the girl one, two, and three times before you reach her, chances are she's not interested. In fact, she probably just picked up that fourth time so you would quit calling for a while. Even worse, she answers the fourth call with a statement along the lines of, "What's wrong? Did something happen? Oh no, your dog didn't die, did he?" Consecutive unanswered calls mean she's actually screening you, hoping you will give up (or lose your cell phone, and thus her number, in the meantime). If a girl really likes you, she'll pick up and/or call you back most of the time. If you find yourself talking to her voicemail more often than you're talking to her, she's just not that into you.

3. When you do get her on the phone, she yawns ocassionally and sporadically makes reference to the magazine she's reading or tv show she's watching. Intruiging conversation? Hardly. Excitement in her inflection? Never. Guys, a girl's tone can tell you a lot, so pay attention next time your rattling off some story that makes you sound macho and cool. If time and time again you get a less than two-word response, its not because you're a bad story teller or the subject matter is weak. When a girl is truly interested, she will probably act intrigued by the simplest of statements and at the very least, she will be attentive and fully engaged in the conversation. So if you hear the pages of UsWeekly rustling in the background on her end of the phone line, take the hint, she's just not that into you.

4. You've never seen her with makeup on. Lets face it--girls are vain. We got our first pair of fake plastic heels when we were three and by now we are pretty good at wearing them. We like dressing up. Actually, no, not all girls like dressing up--but we do all like feeling pretty. And the prettier we feel, the better we think our chances are with you. If a girl is into you she's sporting a new outfit at even the off chance she might see you. So, if the last sixteen times you have seen your dig she was in running shorts and a ponytail, she's just not that into you.

5. She's busy the first, second, and third time you ask her out. It's not a coincidence. It's a signal. Actually, it's large, red, flashing, flourescent light. It's a message that says, "Hey! Einstein, I don't want to go out with you!" She is not testing your persistence or playing hard to get. Sure, a girl may try to appear somewhat unavailable in the beginning, but if she's really digging your chili, chances are she's not going to deny three consecutive requests. The third no is your sure-fire sign that she's just not that into you.

Don't get discouraged. Girls do not want to hurt your pride and we are flattered by the interest, but these not-so-subtle codes are our way of trying to break it to you that we just aren't into you. So next time you get the hunch she might be sending you an uninterested vibe, don't waste your energy because wasting time on the wrong girl is just time wasted.


*If you still have questions, try listening to Lily Allen's "Knock Em Out." She does a great job of really breaking it down.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Gooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllll(s)!

By: Jon Wasson

I met LC and LB sometime around last week…after discussing the existence of this blog, it was brought to my attention that I might be able to be a guest writer. These were the parameters given me from LC.




“if you write a guest blog i'll post it.
but, it pretty much has to be about me.
or something. at least about dallas.
nothing insightful. our blog is not a diary.”



I’m not sure if I met the criteria. But here it is.



I am the type of person who gets bored easily. College was a great thing for me because living on 4 hours of sleep, taco bell and mountain dew, road trips and best friends is close to heaven for me. This has left me feeling very out of place in the young professional world as of late. A lot of my friends have full time jobs (I guess the term is “career”) with salaries and 401k’s. It sounds exciting but I guess I just don’t think I fit into that world exactly. Which leaves me with a dilemma.


What am I doing with my life?


Other than living the dream day in day out… I am still not entirely sure.
But, I did create a list of goals to accomplish. perhaps that will help give me purpose… you should try to do the same thing…its rather liberating.


Goals for 2007 (and probably into most of 2008 as well:

1. Go on a date wearing a collared shirt.
2. Shoot at bad guys from a moving vehicle.
3. Beat Dirk Nowitzki one on one.
4. Get rich or die trying.
5. Snowboard mammoth.
6. Get brittain to stay up all night and then go to work the next day. 7.
7.Land a 360 board slide to fakie.
8. Beat guitar hero one, two, 80’s encore, and three on expert.
9. Be an extra on the show Prison Break.
10. Get straight a’s in seminary.
11. Snowboard Colorado.
12. Sell $100k of stuff at the shop within the next 5 months to go to Colorado for free and ride with pros and do other cool stuff.
13. Get involved in a church.
14. See jimmy eat world live and sing every word until my throat bleeds.
15. Teach LC how to jump kick.



Also. I love LC and LB. I am glad Texas provided me with their friendship.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Hills

The Hills makes me want to vomit. Here are my thoughts.

1. It cannot be good to consume more Red Bull than water. I mean, eat some carbs. Or take a power nap. There are Red Bull cans scattered around Lauren and Audrina's apartment like cats in a old woman's house.

2. Graffiti does not belong on the streets, so why would you think it looks good in your living room? For one time in my life I agree with Heidi, "I mean...it's not girly...it's not anything."

3. If you are looking to change your name make sure it flows well with your former name. For example, Justin Bobby just doesn't roll off the tongue. Try Justin Robert or Justin Bob. Even Bobby Justin.

4. If you are proposing: make sure you can buy a ring. Go to an actual jewelry store. Don't go to a purse store and ask for "the most high end." You can do that at TJ Maxx. Don't ask your friend to put it on his credit card. Don't buy a purple ring. Don't call the ring you "bought" a "Kobe Bryant Ring" because Kobe Bryant bought his girl a ring after he was accused of raping a woman. And duh! actually say, "Will you marry me?" in the proposal.


I have committed to praying for the girls and boys of The Hills . They probably wouldn't annoy me so much if they loved Jesus and had a moral compass.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Cougars

The two sisters never married.

That was one of the last things we learned about Jane Austen and her sister during last night's viewing of "Becoming Jane." Sitting beside 5 other single 23-ish females, I think we all had the same thought: well $%#@... each immediately picturing herself alone and still "picking her own potatos" at 50. Great movie, but if it's a fairy tale ending you're looking for, you won't find it there.

On that note, has anyone ever seen that new show Age of Love? It's basically the Bachelor but half the contestants are 20-somethings and the other half are 40-somethings... "Cougars" as they are affectionately referred to. Well, LC told me today that if I don't get married for a long time (i.e. never, Lord help me), that I'd be a cougar. What does that mean? I'm not quite sure how to take that. What is a cougar anyway? Well, according to the trusty urbandictionary.com, a cougar is defined as the following:

"An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated ol horn-meister, to a real hottie. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together."

And another definition...

"A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Fransisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws int o an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path."

And still some others...

"An older woman trying way too hard to look young... A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted...common traits include leather skin from frequent tanning sessions, smoking, anti-depressant use, etc."

These are just a few choice selections and have been PG-13ized for blog purposes. LC, I am offended! And I'll be darned if I ever remotely resemble a "cougar" as it is defined here (other than the "real hottie" part, of course).

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Departed...My Life Since LC Moved On




By: Tami aka: Tabby, Tabitha, Tam, Tamela, T-Bec, TJ etc.



LC has graciously requested that I write another guest post for the blog. When I asked her what she thought I should write about, she suggested I write about my life without her in the house, naturally. So, how is my life different since LC moved on? Let me give you the pros and cons.



Pros:

-Things are a little bit tidier. I love LC, but I'm a neat freak and this was sometimes difficult for me. She knows this and she knows I love her anyway.
-There's no mountain dew in the refrigerator. I don't like mountain dew. I don't want to look at it in the morning.
-I don't ever have to watch Rosanne, The Wonder Years, Airline, or any other cheesy reality/1980 sitcoms.
-I usually get to sleep in my bed alone. She really liked my bed…and me.


Cons:

-I have to work harder to get dinner plans. LC was always up for some pizza which made her number 1 on my friend list frequently.
-Sometimes I have to get my own mail. LC always had the mail waiting on the table when I got home.
-Before Laura's return from the black hole of Houston, life without LC meant living on the 2nd floor alone. Zero fun. Now that Laura and Noelle are back, this isn't as much of an issue…but it's still much quieter up there.
-My daily life is no longer effectively documented in pictures. LC was great about making sure she had a quality photo of roommate time on the couch or an afternoon Felicity marathon. I felt kind of famous. Like people cared what I was doing on my Friday afternoon off…
-I don't really get to talk to LC. When she lived with me, we talked all the time. Now all my information comes via LB b/c they call each other 4 times a day(at least).
-We can't share clothes, make-up, jewelry and gossip as frequently. Those were some of our favorite things to do together. And we always brushed each other's hair…


Sometimes it still feels like LC lives with us. Key reasons for this are that she still has a key and she was at my house when I fell asleep last night and again when I woke up this morning. I'm ok with it…it's better to slowly phase these things out anyway. I don't really like sudden change. Just kidding LC, you'll never be phased out. You always have a spot in the south bedroom of 2620…even if it is just an air mattress on the floor.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Word Association

You know that great game you play and you say, "Arkansas!" and then someone will shout the first thing that comes to their mind, "Cousins!"

I think if someone yelled, "LC!" Most people in Dallas would yell, "Brittain!"
Eight months ago they would've yelled, "Chi hair products!"

I guess there are worse things to be associated with. After all, "Brittain!" is way better than, "washed-up-druggie with kids!"

Friday, August 3, 2007

Ben + Felicity Together Forever

Last night we finished Felicity. Which is why we're watching Ellen now.
As we were on episode 18 of season 4 it was hard not to think, "If Ben and Felicity don't end up together we've wasted our whole summer." So, I did some math. This summer we spent 3,784 minutes watching Felicity. That breaks down to about 63 hours. That's almost three whole days!

I would say it was 63 hours well spent. Ben and Felicity ended up together and it rained a lot this summer, so it's not like we could've been outside doing something productive with our lives.

On another note, Brittain has dismissed herself from the blog.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Usually





Today Britt went big time and drove down to the O.C. (Oak Cliff-- that's my hood) to have lunch with me. We split a dish. The waiter happened upon us right at the time I was giving my chunks of mozzarella to Britt.

Waiter: You don't like mozzarella on your mozzarella chicken?
Me: Well, I do. She just likes it more.
Waiter: So, you're giving her your cheese? Wow. Are y'all sisters?
Britt (quickly): NO.
Waiter: Friends?
Britt: Yes.
Waiter: Best friends?
Britt: Yes.
Me: Usually.

That being said...I don't really like the chunks of mozzarella. I'd rather just have it in regular cheese form.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Homecoming 07




Brittain is leaving the thriving metropolis of Houston and coming home to the 214 today. Hopefully for good. I am excited about this for many reasons. Most notably: we get to finish Felicity. And of course, we get to be friends seven days a week! Praise Him.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Not roomies. Still besties.

I moved out. But, I left some stuff at 2620 so I have a reason to go over there the next few days.

58-Nill (5800) is now where the party is.

Party Animals

I can't say I've ever hosted a really bad, unsuccessful party. That is probably because: 1. I haven't hosted a ton of parties. The less parties you host the better the odds. 2. Whenever I've hosted anything I used to always bake cookies. People love cookies.

Last night was much different. We had brie. Meaning, this party was a little more sophisticated than most I've ever really attended or hosted. I didn't really pick the menu. But, I was fairly happy with it. Extremely happy with the cheesecake bites.

I would say we had close to 40 people in between the walls of 2620. We even had a guy show up in a three-piece suit...without a shirt on. That made the whole party worthwhile.

I would like to thank Brittain for preparing most of the food, Tami for setting up the games and Ang(e) for arranging the living room. If anyone else was writing this blog they would thank me for the awesome beats I provided. Yes, DJ LC was in attendance.

Overall, I would give us an 8 on a scale of 10 for the party. Minus 1 point for the fact that it was around 167 degrees in here and 1 point off for our lack of parking spots.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A-Town (Down)




Last night I was house-sitting in Arlington. I was super bored, so I decided to call Britt. I said, "Britt, how do you do this? I'm so bored." I felt like for the first time ever I could relate to her and her travels. I said, "What should I do?" She said, "Why don't you call a friend?"

I was on the phone with her when she said this.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Friends Forever

Brittain is my best friend. If we can make it through 7 weeks of living together, we can make it through anything. Long live LB and LC.

I'd also like to add that Britt made a mean set of cookies tonight and she bought me some other goodies. True friend, ladies and gents, true friend.

Tami gets the most props for putting up with Britt and I's fighting. Shout out to Jerry's second born-- way to be Tabby Cat.

Twins

Uncanny

Not Jenny Smith

Last weekend was a little rough for LC and I. We just kind of fought a lot and kept picking at each other. We fight like sisters… It’s not a fun game. We’ve talked about it 100 times but we never seem to solve the problem. We just don’t take each other’s crap. For whatever reason, we are both overly harsh toward one another, yet overly sensitive at the same time. Not a good combo. I think our fighting was funny and entertaining to those around us at first, but its gotten to the point where its miserable to participate in or listen to. Sorry roommates/friends that have to hear it all the time.

We are working on it though. We both want to give up sometimes, but I think the friendship is definitely worth the struggle. We had a good talk last night and we even slept in the same bed. And didn’t fight about it. Way to go us.

Also, last Sunday night LC brought me the new US Weekly with Nicole Richie on the front and a new copy of To Kill a Mockingbird because I lost mine. I really, really appreciated that. LC, that was the best.

This weekend is going to be a good one… I can feel it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Roomies

I'm not a very good roommate. I often leave my shoes at the door. I do this because at 369 Ridgeview Lane it was ok to take your shoes off and leave them by the door. If you took them off in the living room they usually got placed by the door, not in your room. So. I still take my shoes off by the door.

Sometimes I don't immediately place my dishes in the dishwasher. Sometimes I just put them in the sink.

I am excellent at taking the trash out. And I'm also really good at making sure the thermostat is set at a reasonable temperature.

Oh, sometimes I leave my (clean) clothes on the dryer for days at a time.

Monday, July 9, 2007

BFFAE








Good things do happen during crap storms. These people in the pictures are proof of that. Bring on the crap storms. I have some umbrellas to stand under.

love.




These shoes showed me Jesus' love today. In a big way.

Season Three







We made it to season three of Felicity. I can't help but wonder if I'll get to finish off the series. You see, we normally only watch Felicity on the weekends, but next Saturday I move out. Where does that leave me?

Tami is back. She is leaving again tomorrow. Angela and I will be the only ones in the casa this week.

Disclaimer: Anything I say about Britt in this blog is exaggerated times a million. Her rules are usually for the safety of others and for the betterment of myself. I mean, she only makes rules so I don't go out in public in some miserable outfit or something. Her rules are really for bettering America. Besides, I like rules. Reminds me of growing up on the farm.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Birthday America





Britt and I got to travel to the lake (still not quite sure what lake that was) today to celebrate our nation's independence from England (shout out to Thomas Jefferson) with several other young Dallasites. It was big money fun. No sun, but lots of fun. We played some games, shared some stories, jumped on a trampoline, did some dancing and most importantly rode a jet ski. Of course, when riding the jet ski she had rules. "Number 1 rule: if you throw me off, I get to drive. Number 2 rule: if I get thrown off, you're going in with me." -- Britt

I didn't break any of the rules.


We also successfully managed to not fight at all, except when we had to share a bed last night and I moved once in like, 8 hours of sleeping. She told me to quit moving. I think I was just breathing though.

Only 10 more days left of living together. Still no major decisions on the blog. That's going to be a tough conversation and I think we're kind of avoiding it.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Bitter Sweet. Not a Symphony.


You know how when you graduated from high school you were all like, "Yes! I hate high school!" But, deep inside you were like, "OMG, I like, love high school. I own this place."

It's a bitter sweet feeling. So excited about what's to come, yet so sad about what you're leaving behind.

I am not leaving the blog behind. Only the couch.

Back in the Game




I'm back in Dallas again! And this time its for a whole week. In honor of the "the day" as LC calls it, and hence a day off in the middle of the week, I get to work right here in Dal. I've only been home for about 36 hours now, but they have been full of excitement. Last night we had Sunday night dinner at our house and we all got to experience Noelle's fabulous home cooking. We picked a GREAT roommate. Today, we all went to see Evening, the novel-turned-movie that inspired the New York Times philosophy that "not all novels deserve to be made into movies." It was a serious movie, but provided some mega-belly laughs for the six of us that went to see it. We were definitely "those girls" who giggle and act immature throughout the movie. Oh well. We also had a great talk about beanbags and baseball on the way. Quite enlightening.

Tami is in Cancun so I'm kind of mad at her.

Morgan and LC found a house and they are moving in in two weeks. So LC and I are no longer going to live together (tear). I mean, will we ever see each other again? Will we still be friends? Will we still watch Felicity for hours together? And the real clencher...what will happen to the blog?

LC and I will probably have to have a talk about this. We have been having some serious talks lately and are really beginning to sort out our issues. Maybe one day we will have a functional relationship.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Music Appreciation



Every time I get in my car "Pop, Lock and Drop It" or "Buy U a Drank" is on. Every time. This inevitably leads me to walk around where ever I am saying, "Awwwww, snap!" or even, "Do that thing little mama make it...blah, blah, blah." This has become completely unacceptable. Aren't there thousands, nay, millions of songs out there for the radio to play? Yet, different stations play the same songs over and over and over again? If I hear, "Hey There, Deliah" one more time I might call Deliah myself and ask her what it's like in New York City.

On a somewhat different note-- I'm going to court to meet Ricky, who's name is actually Humberto. This will not be an actual meeting, it will be me appearing in court to see what the ruling on this case is. Meaning: money or no money for LC.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Thoughts from Angela

Since it’s guest writer night, I feel like there are a few things you should
know:
1. Ange has an E on the end. Ang is angle with two missing letters.

2. My shower curtain has not fallen in at least 3 ½ weeks.

3. I’m trying to work on the cussing.

4. It’s fun to come home to lots of people.

5. Simon and Elena are pregnant. Simon is still working on trying to be
excited about it part.Looking back on things, I wonder if the Baklava
gift was part of a weird pregnancy craving.

6. I have a fan now and no longer have to put the downstairs thermostat on
65 at night.

7. My room is not purple. It’s taupe.

8. Tami is really good at killing flies which is nice since we have a lot of
them.

9. I feel dumber after every episode of The Girls Next Door that plays at
2620.

10. If Mary and Joseph showed up, we would all work something out with the
parking situation. Get real.


That’s really all I have to say. Oh and I’d like to apologize to the other
inhabitants of 2620 for my inability to properly put a trash bag in Tami’s
trash can. And thanks for doing the dishes tonight, Noelle.

The Spanish Steps

So LC has given us the opportunity to "guest post" today which I think was extremely generous...especially since today was dedicated to me and I feel like I should be the one to share it with the 2620 blog-world. I was recently subjected to a less-than-wonderful experience on the steps of the elementary school across the street from our house. It wasn't horrific but it definitely left a bad taste in my mouth about those steps. My wonderful roomies found out about my negative karma towards the steps and decided to take action towards remedy-ing this unfortunate situation.

After eating a delicious meal (prepared by Ange, with an "e") we set out to get ice cream and make some good memories on the steps. We started the healing process with a little "confession-time" where Ange apologized for a previous lack of social ettiquette and I tried to explain to LC that her lack of a dinner invite last night was not intentional. Things were moving right along but the steps were still harboring some undesirable feelings. I called on LC to step-up her game (pun-intended) and create some memories that would forever put a smile in my heart when I caught sight of the steps. She came through in a giant way. As Noelle and I sung our hearts out to some of our favorite praise and worship songs, LC laid out some of her best dance moves for all of us on the steps as well as 3 of ricky ricardo's cousins who passed by during the evening. Some highlights included the "half-body roll", a wide-hand clap, and many more. Trust me, these names do not even begin to do justice to the glory of these moves. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard and, just like that, the steps were forever transformed. LC, Noelle, and Ange, thanks for the memories.

If I am ever allowed to guest post again, I will delve into the issues I have with my role on the blog being so minor. I have spent more nights in the house than any other roommate thus far and I feel that deserves a principal spot in the blog...but that's another post for another day.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Reality TV

After much debate I have decided to not go and meet Ricky. I examined my motives behind wanting to go and the only real reason I wanted to go was to have a really good story. Unfortunately, I'm a mature adult now so I realize that is not the best reason to go. Therefore, I will not be going to meet Ricky. And I have decided to give up my search for the Old Navy rain jacket. R.I.P grey Old Navy rain jacket.

On totally different note, I think it's safe to say that I spend 90% of the time I watch tv watching reality TV. That's why I'm starting a campaign to get my own show. Or get on a show. Whatever comes first. I think I'm entertaining. And I have a lot of friends on Facebook, I could start a group and make them all watch it.

Perfect.

Angela and I listened to the "Graduation Song" tonight. We now know where we're going to be when we turn 24, maybe even 25. Shout out to RHS Class of 02. I wonder if Brady Bobby is a stock broker? And if I will ever find a job that doesn't interfere with my tan?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Pros and Cons for Ricky





Every afternoon when I get home from work I take off my heels and walk to the mailbox. This afternoon I got the biggest treat of my life. A letter addressed to me from the Dallas County Department of Juvenile Justice (something or other). That's right-- I get to apply for restitution. I also have the option of possibly meeting with the young, cheesed up lad who took my car and my beloved Old Navy rain jacket. At first, there wasn't any question about it. I was going to meet this youth who robbed me of my innocence. But, then I thought about it some more and thought it could just be really weird (and scary) to meet this kid who, in a matter of minutes changed my view on society as a whole. I have until July 2nd to decide.

I am in the process of making a Pros and Cons list about it.

PROS: I could meet this kid and tell him I forgive him and tell him he can still lead a productive life and contribute to society.

CONS: I may not actually be able to talk to him, because Officer Royal told me he doesn't speak English.

PROS: This could be a huge opportunity to show Jesus' love to a cheesed-up juvy inmate.

CONS: He will see my face and possibly spot me out at the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market one day and take more than just my Old Navy rain jacket. What if my basket is full and I was feeling extra rich that day and buy a People in the check-out line? He can just take that too?

PROS: I can find out how to avoid other cheesed-up thieves and ask him why he targeted me.

CONS: I might find out that I am the poster child for car theft and I realize I have no way to defend myself from it.

Right now, I'm leaning towards going...I have a lot of road trips coming up and I really need my i-Pod charger back.


List of things I plan to put on the restitution list: i-Pod charger, Old Navy rain jacket, rollerblades, white Converses from 10th grade, brown pants, black work shoes (may not have been stolen, but I certainly can't find them), JT CD, Killers CD and cigarette lighter (why would he even take that out of the car?).

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Common Threads





Today someone asked Britt and me what we had in common. We both stopped and thought about it. I came up with: a common love for Jesus and we both have great hair. She said: we both have brown hair. That's kind of sad. I mean, we're "besties" and can't think of more than like, two things we have in common? Oh yeah, she also said we both like music. Everyone likes music.

Morgan said I could decorate at the new house. Morgan is so money.

The Couch




It was a rainy weekend in Dallas, which left Tami, LC and I on the couch for hours on end watching Felicity. It was great... until LC started to get restless. See, we kind of settled into our own "spots" in the living room, and LC and I of course landed on the same couch: me balled up in the nook of the corner, and LC taking up the other 2.75 cushions. Generally, this set up is great, we're all comfortable. But after 2 or so episodes of FPo, LC started "messing" with me. Poking, asking silly/stupid questions, etc. So I hit her in the boob and we pretty much fought the rest of the night. So much fun. Tami LOVED this, and relentlessly offered up her couch. So selfless, thanks Tami.

Tami and I decorated this weekend so the house is looking better. LC did not participate.

I went to look at a house with Morgan and LC. It was cute, complete with beer cans on the coffee table, playboy posters, and a pool. They are moving in.

See you in the 713.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Basketball

Laura Rodgers is tiiiiiiiiiight. She was homecoming queen and she loves to come visit 2620. Also, she needs to stretch.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Stalkers

We have some frequent visitors to 2620.

Melanie "Smelanie" White is a precious little gem from Richardson. She is besties with Ang and likes to frequent bars and clubs-- especially on blind dates. She really spices up the house when she's around. She brought us bread tonight.

Morgan "Don't call me Mo Mo" Stallings is the proudest member of the Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of 2006. A Whoop. She handles packages, drives a standard and is an all-around good person. She handled the cop during the car incident and is my future roommate. We're getting DVR.

Others who have come by: Rister, the girls of DAG, and Tami's mom spent four days here.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Laura C. Cooper






PTL for Laura Cooper. Coops basically deserves credit for establishing me in Dallas. Without Coops I'd be homeless and minus about 47 friends (and counting). Without Coops I wouldn't have tasted salad dressing and I definitely wouldn't be as well-rounded as I am today.

Britt should thank Coops too, I mean she could've kept me a secret. But, no...she is self-less and wanted to share her friends. What an "I'm Third" act of kindness.

The first time I met Coops I thought she went to Ole Miss. Then, she started dancing and talking and it was clear she didn't. From then our friendship grew and grew and now I might ask her to be in my wedding as a candle lighter (j slash k).


Thanks, Coops. You're a rare jewel.

Felicity






I am quite the poet and if you need a poem for a special occasion or a special person let me know. I don't charge. I might drop a few cuss words, but if the recipient of the poem is over 11 that shouldn't be a problem.

Yesterday Britt and I set out on a journey that led us right back to the couch at 2620. After visiting three Blockbusters in Dallas and calling 4 others we finally found Felicity: Sophomore Year on DVD. To celebrate we watched six episodes.

Britt is back in H-Town (713) for the week, meaning it's up to Angela, Tami and I to hold down the fort. I think we can do that as long as we make it through the week without getting anyone's car stolen. I'm up to the challenge.

Last night Angela expressed sadness at the fact that I am moving out in August. That means Molly and Morgan should be very excited about living with me. I mean, I write poems and can watch television shows for hours on end without complaining. Who wouldn't want to live with me?

Also, I dance to Enrique in the living room.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Do you know

LC came home from church today (I've been sick so I slept in) and told me she wished I could have been there to hear it. She said the sermon was called "What drives you," and the preacher talked about ambition verses aspiration. He said that ambition can drive you to the point of sickness and sleeplessness. Then she asked me if I thought it was a coincidence that I've been sick all weekend and that i take prescription sleeping pills. Thanks LC.

Please listen to Enrique's new song.

Rules

These are the rules Britt gave me after she decided to let me sleep on her couch for two months. Some of them are understandable. But, let it be known: I don't go around farting.



1 – It's my room. Not "ours."


2 – You can't decorate or bring any of your d├ęcor.



3 – Clean the sink. Clorox wipes are underneath.


4 – No "Thriller" or other 80s posters in the house.


5 – You maybe can't sleep in my bed when I'm there.


6 – Keep the room clean. Make the bed. Tidy. Neat.


7 – No farting.


8 – You can bring pictures, but I might put them in different frames if I don't like yours.


9 – Give me a Polo.



10 – Kiss my ass.



Friday, June 8, 2007

Emoticons





I just have to get this off my chest, which is precisely what this blog is for. I, in no way, shape or form support smiley faces in emails, text messages, blog posts or g-chat conversations. I had just downloaded a new version of g-chat and there were actual emoticons, not just smileys.

I am not in 8th grade.
I used to be, but I graduated last Sunday.
Hats off.

A Glimpse






Just wanted to give you a glimpse of what our g-chat conversations typically look like. We used to talk on it a lot more, but now it has to be limited to Fridays because of my work circumstances. Pretty awesome.

2:09 PM Lauren: hey
i just downloaded google talk.
me: cool
gmail still not working?
Lauren: not at all.
oh well.
2:10 PM i just sent you an email about going to the grocery store
2:11 PM me: cool
Lauren: really?
me: chicken breasts
2:12 PM Lauren: sweet
2:16 PM mashed potatoes?
me: hey, i gotta work
sorry
2:17 PM Lauren: :-|
2:18 PM :D
me: ha. i might go home and work
Lauren: x-(
me: i need to do laundry.
and no one else is here.
Lauren: :-/
me: except this IT talking on the phone about jesus and pastoring
ha.
Lauren: }:)
me: wow... that's a creative one
Lauren: i know...
2:19 PM me: he just said praise god
Lauren: well, praise Him.
um...I'll call you when I leave here
and you can tell me what to get at the groce
me: ok. bye.
Lauren: :'(

Kick me while I'm down.

I take all of my life lessons from Destiny's Child. I mean, Britt, Fergie's great and all, but read these lyrics:



I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what)
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what)
I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it
(what)
I'm a survivor (what), keep on survivin' (what)

After all of the darkness and sadness,
soon comes happiness
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain posterity


I think it's the third, "what" that gets me. That's the one that pulls me in and encourages me to wake up in the morning. I'll be the first to say I've had a rough-go-of-things the past few months. A really rough go. But, I'll also be the first to say, "I'm not gonna give up (what)." Each and every crap storm that has blown through has taught me a lesson.

So, in these times of trials let's all take a cue from the girls of DC and not give up.

Let's also take a minute to praise Him for the trials. And also, don't forget to pray for little Ricky Ricardo. He stole some stuff of mine and hopefully he gave it to his little sister who is now rocking a sweet Old Navy rain jacket, white converse shoes (that I bought in 10th grade), roller blades, a monster golf club and some CDs. So, if you see a girl (or boy, I guess) rocking out to the Killers or J. Timberlake (how heavy is that) in some Cons and a grey rain jacket give them a shout out!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Wake Up. Be Serious.




The following blog is completely true. Everything written happened this morning at approximately 4:30am. The names haven't been changed.



I couldn't get to sleep last night, but finally about 1am I passed out. That's normal. A 4:30am wake-up call from Morgan is not normal.

(Phone rings)

LC: Morgan, what are you doing?
Morgan: I need you to wake up and be serious.
LC: Why what happened?
Morgan: The Dallas police just called me and said that your car was stolen. A 16-year-old Hispanic is driving it.
LC: Shut up. What are you talking about?
Morgan: Just go look outside and see if it's true.
LC: Ok, I'm going to look. (Look out the window.) S#!t! Morgan, it's gone! My car got stolen! What the heck? Why did they call you?
Morgan: I don't know really. Call the cops, here's the number...

So...then, I go and wake-up Tami and I call the cop.

Mike: This is Royal.
LC: This is Lauren Cowling. My car was stolen.
Mike: Do you know why a 16-year-old Mexican was driving your car?
(It takes everything in me not to make a sarcastic comment about how much I hang out with 16-year-old boys)
LC: No. I guess he stole it.
Mike: Well, he has the keys.
(I'm an idiot)
Mike: Do you keep an extra set of keys in the car?
LC: No. Oh, wait. Last week my friend took my car to the airport (shout out to BRITT), I never took the keys out.
Mike: So, you didn't give him the keys?
(Again, had to hold the comment.)
LC: No, sure didn't.
Mike: Ok, well get someone to bring you down here and get your car.

So, Tami wakes up (and is extremely confused) and I call Reggie and I was yelling, so Noelle wakes up and she's all, "What's going on?" I tell her my car got stolen and it's the most excited I've ever seen her and she says, "Can I go?!" The three of us load up into Tami's un-stolen, un-broken into car and head for the scene. When we arrive, I get out and introduce myself and am immediately embarrassed at the state of my car. I have crap in there from like, 1997. Clothes, toys, papers from college, papers from work, pictures, mail...I mean, tons of crap. I apologize for the messiness and Mike says, "Come here and tell us if something is yours or not." In my head I am thinking, "I'm about to get arrested! Someone stole my car and I'm going to jail! I probably have something in my car and don't even know! I'm getting arrested!" Mike shows me a bag of cheese heroine (it's all the rage here in Dallas). I said, "I don't even know what that is!" Mike told me what it was and then told me the whole story about he saw the kid smoking and he noticed the tennis racket in my car and figured it wasn't his racket. The kid told him he bought the car, "two hours ago from a dude." Shady story, kid. Anyway. I have to search the car and it smells like pee cause little kid smoked up in it and then Mike says I can leave.

I really wanted to talk to the kid and tell him I forgive him and that I'm not mad, but confused. I mean, WTF, dawg? Who would want that car. I mean, exact words from Reggie when I called him and said my car was stolen, "Well, who would want that car?" Exactly. Also, I thought it would be a perfect time to tell him about Jesus and his un-conditional love for car-thieves. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to draw the bridge diagram for the kid or tell him about Jesus. I'm going to pray for him though. And I'm serious. I mean, he's doing drugs and stealing cars. Not exactly the high road. That's the great thing though, you can always change. Man, I wish I could've talked to him. He was probably high on cheese heroine though (it's all the rage in Dallas).

What have I learned from this? After you let someone drive your car to the airport take the keys out of the console, actually check to see if you have a car alarm (don't just assume), keep your phone on at all times, it helps to have a messy car (that's how they found Morgan's number to get a hold of me) and I do have some faith in the fine men (and women) of the Dallas Police Department.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Ode to Britt

We are besties.


Today (yes, today!) my dear friend and roommate, Britt, turns the big two-three. That's right...23. I have prepared a poem and a few other things.


birthday poem.
twenty three ain't no joke,
turn your life around get off the coke.

that's a j slash k,
you get to celebrate today!

celebrate with glee,
cause girl you are turning twenty damn three.

what, who you?
yeah, you are no longer twenty two.

you invented the damn birthday,
when people see you coming, they get out the way.

tyra says so what,
all my friends think you're hot.

you are the best friend ever,
and this poem is really clever.

i hope your day is really great,
and maybe soon the reverend will take you on a date.

thanks for being alive,
and i hope we're friends when we're 105.


Also, I would like to make a list of things telling you, our readers, about why I am glad Britt is, in fact alive.


I am glad Britt's alive because...

...she makes me laugh. She encourages me to dress better, live cleaner, eat healthier and be nicer. She emails me while we're at work, which makes my day go by faster. She introduced me to salad dressing. She is letting me sleep on her couch and watch her Felicity DVDs. And basically...I'm glad she's alive because she's my friend. A really good one at that.



Happy Birthday, Britt.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Houston Sucks

(L-R) Noelle, LC, Tami, Grish


I have failed to mention the only hitch in the marvelous set-up here at 2620. Britt works in Houston four days a week. That's more than half. Not typically the fun part of the week, but still...

Before she left she decided that maybe sleeping on the couch wasn't good for me. She offered up her bed and somehow everyone found their way up here after-hours. Yes, we hung out in Britt's room without Britt. Sad.

I think I'm going to hire a maid before she comes home. That way I can sleep in here next week, too. Also, if anyone knows how to make a bed and make it look really pretty let me know. That was my only assignment before she left: make the bed before she gets home. That and get her pants out of the living room.

Britt, come home.

What are the odds?


LC has some mad party-planning skills and I have the best friends ever. They threw me the most off-the-chain party ever. There were margs, queso, cake, funny cards, and at least 25 people there. To top it off, the pictures have already been posted onto facebook and comments have already been made. Amazing. Better than icing on the cake in my book and icing is my favorite part.



The only thing that didn’t happen was the guest appearance by Big Al and JC. “I’m so sorry I missed the party. I’ve been having all kinds of problems with my planet email.” Likely story. Come on Big Al. Kidd Kraddick in the Morning just lost about 13 points. I mean, I am the biggest fan and have contributed to the conversion of countless listeners. I’ve made Kidd Kraddick a common topic of conversation among my (large) group of friends. I should probably be paid for advertising for them. Not cool, Al. Not cool. Big Al is going to have to do something big to make up for this one. And JC… well, I kinda have a soft spot for Latinos.

Share This