Thursday, August 30, 2007

LC's Last Post: Fact or Ficiton

I just want to address LC’s most recent post, “Arkansas Part II.” She makes some bold claims, some of which are true, most of which are not. For the record, here are my true opinions:

1. Mt. Dew = White trash skater drink. And LC's drink of choice.
2. The Clinton Library... Um, no thanks. Please, I used to work for Laura Bush herself.
3. Famous People from Arkansas? Highly unlikely unless you are talking about the Clintons (obvi), or some backwoods family with 27 kids.
4. Dinner with Laurie and Reggie... can hardly contain the excitement! I love LJ already and I am so pumped about meeting ol Reg. That part could not be more true.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Arkansas Part II

Call the Mayor. Hang up the banners. Align the parade route.
I'm coming home.

Brittain and I are driving to Arkansas. She is dropping me off in Little Rock. Someone should pick me up from there and I should be back in the grand dame of them all, Russellville, by Saturday morning.

On our road trip Brittain is pumped to do the following: drink a whole six pack of Mt. Dew on her own, stop at the Arkansas border and take a picture with the welcome sign, drive past the Clinton library, meet an Arkansas celebrity (I know people) and have dinner with Reggie and Laurie. It's scary how excited she is about this.

Mark your calendars, it ain't Labor Day unless I'm there. And guess what? I'll be there.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Hills Version 4.0

The Hills makes me want to ask someone to poke my eyes out. Here's why this week.

1. Engagement ring hand? As if last week didn't throw enough red flags at Spencer and Heidi's engagement, this one almost takes the cake: when getting her "Kobe Bryant" ring sized Spencer asks, "Well, which one is engagement ring hand? Put it on that one." It is my prayer that someone is in that church/casino/beach to stand up when the preacher/judge/actor says, "Does anyone have any objections?" For the love...someone have an objection.

2. "Home boy wore short shorts and combat boots to the beach!" That LC and this LC are a lot more alike than this LC would ever like to admit. She makes a strong point though-- no one wants to call that their boyfriend.

3. Heidi's Parents seem completely normal and concerned for their daughter and her future. Spencer doesn't have them completely fooled, which leads this LC to believe that more red flags will be flying. Actually, no. Heidi will most likely completely ignore her parents and how they feel and will soon be spray painting, "Spence and Heidi 2gether, 4ever" on her living room wall, while wearing a shirt that says, "Spencer's Little Angel."

4. Lauren Conrad needs new friends. This is a plea for all of the LA readers of the blog-- if you are in a Bible study and you live in LA, call Lauren and invite her to fellowship with you. Please? She needs some encouragement.

This week I have once again committed the "stars" of The Hills to prayer in hopes that they find Jesus and new friends before they start smoking crack on a semi-regular basis.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Some days I sit through sermons and I walk out confused. I read scripture and I get up from the table confused. Often I read someone else's view of a passage of scripture and I again walk away confused. However, one thing I am not confused about is Jesus.

Jesus loved. Jesus loves. Jesus loves me. He loves murderers. He loves sinners. He loves saints (not more than sinners) and He loves people who don't even love Him back.

Jesus tells me to love everyone. All the time. Whether they make me want to punch myself continually or not.

I don't walk away confused from that.

Love Jesus. Love People. Easy.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Hills...

Kick me while I'm down. The Hills makes me vom. Here's why this week.

1. Surprises. You cannot defend horrible decisions by calling them surprises. That's like saying, "Sorry, mom, I got drunk! It was a surprise! The DUI was the icing on the cake!" Bad idea.

2. Justin Bobby (Jeebs). I think he's real. That's the scariest part. And he's a hairdresser. Wait...have you seen HIS hair? By the way, the only way Justin Bobby could get better is if he introduced his sister Shannon Michelle to us. Also, "truth and time will tell." What does that mean? I don't get it.

3. Don't buy a wedding dress anytime soon. If you get engaged and your friends say, "Don't buy a wedding dress anytime soon." Something is wrong. Very wrong. I mean...

The Natural State

It’s come to my attention that people just do not appreciate the great state of Arkansas. Is it New York? No. Is it a state that used to be a country? No. Could you find diamonds there? Yes.

It hurts my heart to know that people look down upon the great state that nestled me in her loving arms until I was 22 and ready to try out my wings. Arkansas is home to my University, my family and the very well known Duggar Family (they have 17 children and counting!). Why the hate? Why hate on one of the smallest kid in the class? Arkansas may not be quantity, but it’s quality for sure. I mean, have you ever been to Dillard’s? Quality.

People hate what they don’t know. Clearly, lots of people do not know Arkansas. They don’t know that in the fall, you can drive to Northwest Arkansas and see trees that look like they’re one fire because of their leaves. People don’t know that you are never going to be bored in Arkansas, ever— a Wal-Mart is usually within 10-45 minutes of any given town. Don’t hate what you don’t know.

Arkansas is the motherland. Arkansas is home. Arkansas is good people. Arkansas is the closest thing to Heaven this side of the Mississippi.

Friday, August 17, 2007

she's just not that into you...

The no-excuses truth to understanding girls.
by Tange and Britt

It has recently come to our attention that although the book has been written on how to spot the red flags guys throw up when they are not into a girl, there is no such equivalent written to the other gender... men. So, in an effort to save all the clueless guys out there from wasted cell phone minutes, squandered date money, and akward conversations, we've put together of a list of the tell-tale indicators she's just not that into you.

She's just not that into you if...

1. She doesn't google you. If a girl is into you she is dying to know everything about you. Where did you grow up? How many siblings do you have? Where did you go to college? What was your degree in? Where do you work? Girls want to know that you have similar interests to determine if this might be more than just a free meal. Questions are an automatic green light. If she's not asking questions, she's just not that into you.

2. She doesn't call/text you back. If you find yourself calling the girl one, two, and three times before you reach her, chances are she's not interested. In fact, she probably just picked up that fourth time so you would quit calling for a while. Even worse, she answers the fourth call with a statement along the lines of, "What's wrong? Did something happen? Oh no, your dog didn't die, did he?" Consecutive unanswered calls mean she's actually screening you, hoping you will give up (or lose your cell phone, and thus her number, in the meantime). If a girl really likes you, she'll pick up and/or call you back most of the time. If you find yourself talking to her voicemail more often than you're talking to her, she's just not that into you.

3. When you do get her on the phone, she yawns ocassionally and sporadically makes reference to the magazine she's reading or tv show she's watching. Intruiging conversation? Hardly. Excitement in her inflection? Never. Guys, a girl's tone can tell you a lot, so pay attention next time your rattling off some story that makes you sound macho and cool. If time and time again you get a less than two-word response, its not because you're a bad story teller or the subject matter is weak. When a girl is truly interested, she will probably act intrigued by the simplest of statements and at the very least, she will be attentive and fully engaged in the conversation. So if you hear the pages of UsWeekly rustling in the background on her end of the phone line, take the hint, she's just not that into you.

4. You've never seen her with makeup on. Lets face it--girls are vain. We got our first pair of fake plastic heels when we were three and by now we are pretty good at wearing them. We like dressing up. Actually, no, not all girls like dressing up--but we do all like feeling pretty. And the prettier we feel, the better we think our chances are with you. If a girl is into you she's sporting a new outfit at even the off chance she might see you. So, if the last sixteen times you have seen your dig she was in running shorts and a ponytail, she's just not that into you.

5. She's busy the first, second, and third time you ask her out. It's not a coincidence. It's a signal. Actually, it's large, red, flashing, flourescent light. It's a message that says, "Hey! Einstein, I don't want to go out with you!" She is not testing your persistence or playing hard to get. Sure, a girl may try to appear somewhat unavailable in the beginning, but if she's really digging your chili, chances are she's not going to deny three consecutive requests. The third no is your sure-fire sign that she's just not that into you.

Don't get discouraged. Girls do not want to hurt your pride and we are flattered by the interest, but these not-so-subtle codes are our way of trying to break it to you that we just aren't into you. So next time you get the hunch she might be sending you an uninterested vibe, don't waste your energy because wasting time on the wrong girl is just time wasted.

*If you still have questions, try listening to Lily Allen's "Knock Em Out." She does a great job of really breaking it down.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


By: Jon Wasson

I met LC and LB sometime around last week…after discussing the existence of this blog, it was brought to my attention that I might be able to be a guest writer. These were the parameters given me from LC.

“if you write a guest blog i'll post it.
but, it pretty much has to be about me.
or something. at least about dallas.
nothing insightful. our blog is not a diary.”

I’m not sure if I met the criteria. But here it is.

I am the type of person who gets bored easily. College was a great thing for me because living on 4 hours of sleep, taco bell and mountain dew, road trips and best friends is close to heaven for me. This has left me feeling very out of place in the young professional world as of late. A lot of my friends have full time jobs (I guess the term is “career”) with salaries and 401k’s. It sounds exciting but I guess I just don’t think I fit into that world exactly. Which leaves me with a dilemma.

What am I doing with my life?

Other than living the dream day in day out… I am still not entirely sure.
But, I did create a list of goals to accomplish. perhaps that will help give me purpose… you should try to do the same thing…its rather liberating.

Goals for 2007 (and probably into most of 2008 as well:

1. Go on a date wearing a collared shirt.
2. Shoot at bad guys from a moving vehicle.
3. Beat Dirk Nowitzki one on one.
4. Get rich or die trying.
5. Snowboard mammoth.
6. Get brittain to stay up all night and then go to work the next day. 7.
7.Land a 360 board slide to fakie.
8. Beat guitar hero one, two, 80’s encore, and three on expert.
9. Be an extra on the show Prison Break.
10. Get straight a’s in seminary.
11. Snowboard Colorado.
12. Sell $100k of stuff at the shop within the next 5 months to go to Colorado for free and ride with pros and do other cool stuff.
13. Get involved in a church.
14. See jimmy eat world live and sing every word until my throat bleeds.
15. Teach LC how to jump kick.

Also. I love LC and LB. I am glad Texas provided me with their friendship.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Hills

The Hills makes me want to vomit. Here are my thoughts.

1. It cannot be good to consume more Red Bull than water. I mean, eat some carbs. Or take a power nap. There are Red Bull cans scattered around Lauren and Audrina's apartment like cats in a old woman's house.

2. Graffiti does not belong on the streets, so why would you think it looks good in your living room? For one time in my life I agree with Heidi, "I's not's not anything."

3. If you are looking to change your name make sure it flows well with your former name. For example, Justin Bobby just doesn't roll off the tongue. Try Justin Robert or Justin Bob. Even Bobby Justin.

4. If you are proposing: make sure you can buy a ring. Go to an actual jewelry store. Don't go to a purse store and ask for "the most high end." You can do that at TJ Maxx. Don't ask your friend to put it on his credit card. Don't buy a purple ring. Don't call the ring you "bought" a "Kobe Bryant Ring" because Kobe Bryant bought his girl a ring after he was accused of raping a woman. And duh! actually say, "Will you marry me?" in the proposal.

I have committed to praying for the girls and boys of The Hills . They probably wouldn't annoy me so much if they loved Jesus and had a moral compass.

Sunday, August 12, 2007


The two sisters never married.

That was one of the last things we learned about Jane Austen and her sister during last night's viewing of "Becoming Jane." Sitting beside 5 other single 23-ish females, I think we all had the same thought: well $%#@... each immediately picturing herself alone and still "picking her own potatos" at 50. Great movie, but if it's a fairy tale ending you're looking for, you won't find it there.

On that note, has anyone ever seen that new show Age of Love? It's basically the Bachelor but half the contestants are 20-somethings and the other half are 40-somethings... "Cougars" as they are affectionately referred to. Well, LC told me today that if I don't get married for a long time (i.e. never, Lord help me), that I'd be a cougar. What does that mean? I'm not quite sure how to take that. What is a cougar anyway? Well, according to the trusty, a cougar is defined as the following:

"An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated ol horn-meister, to a real hottie. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together."

And another definition...

"A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Fransisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws int o an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path."

And still some others...

"An older woman trying way too hard to look young... A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted...common traits include leather skin from frequent tanning sessions, smoking, anti-depressant use, etc."

These are just a few choice selections and have been PG-13ized for blog purposes. LC, I am offended! And I'll be darned if I ever remotely resemble a "cougar" as it is defined here (other than the "real hottie" part, of course).

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Departed...My Life Since LC Moved On

By: Tami aka: Tabby, Tabitha, Tam, Tamela, T-Bec, TJ etc.

LC has graciously requested that I write another guest post for the blog. When I asked her what she thought I should write about, she suggested I write about my life without her in the house, naturally. So, how is my life different since LC moved on? Let me give you the pros and cons.


-Things are a little bit tidier. I love LC, but I'm a neat freak and this was sometimes difficult for me. She knows this and she knows I love her anyway.
-There's no mountain dew in the refrigerator. I don't like mountain dew. I don't want to look at it in the morning.
-I don't ever have to watch Rosanne, The Wonder Years, Airline, or any other cheesy reality/1980 sitcoms.
-I usually get to sleep in my bed alone. She really liked my bed…and me.


-I have to work harder to get dinner plans. LC was always up for some pizza which made her number 1 on my friend list frequently.
-Sometimes I have to get my own mail. LC always had the mail waiting on the table when I got home.
-Before Laura's return from the black hole of Houston, life without LC meant living on the 2nd floor alone. Zero fun. Now that Laura and Noelle are back, this isn't as much of an issue…but it's still much quieter up there.
-My daily life is no longer effectively documented in pictures. LC was great about making sure she had a quality photo of roommate time on the couch or an afternoon Felicity marathon. I felt kind of famous. Like people cared what I was doing on my Friday afternoon off…
-I don't really get to talk to LC. When she lived with me, we talked all the time. Now all my information comes via LB b/c they call each other 4 times a day(at least).
-We can't share clothes, make-up, jewelry and gossip as frequently. Those were some of our favorite things to do together. And we always brushed each other's hair…

Sometimes it still feels like LC lives with us. Key reasons for this are that she still has a key and she was at my house when I fell asleep last night and again when I woke up this morning. I'm ok with it…it's better to slowly phase these things out anyway. I don't really like sudden change. Just kidding LC, you'll never be phased out. You always have a spot in the south bedroom of 2620…even if it is just an air mattress on the floor.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Word Association

You know that great game you play and you say, "Arkansas!" and then someone will shout the first thing that comes to their mind, "Cousins!"

I think if someone yelled, "LC!" Most people in Dallas would yell, "Brittain!"
Eight months ago they would've yelled, "Chi hair products!"

I guess there are worse things to be associated with. After all, "Brittain!" is way better than, "washed-up-druggie with kids!"

Friday, August 3, 2007

Ben + Felicity Together Forever

Last night we finished Felicity. Which is why we're watching Ellen now.
As we were on episode 18 of season 4 it was hard not to think, "If Ben and Felicity don't end up together we've wasted our whole summer." So, I did some math. This summer we spent 3,784 minutes watching Felicity. That breaks down to about 63 hours. That's almost three whole days!

I would say it was 63 hours well spent. Ben and Felicity ended up together and it rained a lot this summer, so it's not like we could've been outside doing something productive with our lives.

On another note, Brittain has dismissed herself from the blog.

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