Thursday, January 29, 2009

judge not.

Lest ye be judged.

I consider myself to be a pretty judgemental person, something I am definitely moving away from more and more, the older I get, but judgemental nonetheless. I chalk this character flaw up to the few Sundays a year I visited my grandmother's Baptist church and the fact that my church growing up was right across the street from an incredibly large Baptist church. I'm not serious, but I am. I mean, I can't blame my character flaw on my sinful flesh, can I? No, I must blame someone, or something else, rather.

Lately, more and more, I've been hearing people claim, "I'm not judging you," or the classic, "I don't judge people." This first struck a not so melodious chord with me while watching 17 Kids and Counting (the story of the morally right, hairfully wrong Duggar clan in Arkansas). One of the elder Duggar children was claiming that she did not judge her older, not a bit wiser, cousin Amy because she wore shorts and had regularly cut hair. Oh, that little Duggar girl is such a liar.

When someone has to make the claim, I'm not judging you, they were/are most definitely judging you. I mean, at least in my case that's true. If I tell you I'm not judging you, I'm always and I do mean, always, judging you.

I've gotten better about this though. How so? First off, rarely do I tell people this anymore. Meaning, if I am judging you, I try to do it silently. And second, back in the day, if someone told me something about themselves that I found appalling, I would completely cast them out of my life. I no longer do that. It's true. I find a number of my friends completely appalling and unworthy of grace, but I'm not judging them.

All of this being said: Beware of those who judge not, lest they are judging ye more than others.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

big day.

Admittedly, I got chills this morning watching Barack Obama being sworn in as the 44th President. No matter who you voted for-- today was a big day. Scratch that, a HUGE day for America.

I mean, even Dan Quayle was there. 

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Jesus loves a sinner.

I am reminded of how much Jesus loves sinners every time I hang out with my dear, dear friends. Pictured here. Oh, I am kidding. I just needed to give a quick shout out to my friends at the domination station, who coincidentally, have become some of my biggest supporters on the internets

Never do I ever have as much fun as I do when I am around them for any period of time. They are also some of my favorite road-tripping partners of the 21st century, the best hair teasers I know, incredibly fashionable and can make full sentences using zero words-- it's really an amazing trait. 


Friday, January 16, 2009

elite liberal media.

If you know me at all, you probably know that I have an incredibly unattractive habit of picking favorites among my friends and really, people in general.

That being said, one of my all-time favorites recently got a new gig at KATV in Little Rock. Basically, she has her own reality television show, which you guessed it, bumps her up even higher on my favorites list. If you've ever wanted to play a deciding factor in what goes on the news you should really check out her reality show.

Deano is either going to be the next Katie Couric or Caroline Kennedy. But, until I am officially able to ride her coattails into stardom I'll continue to cheer her on in her newest Mary Tyler Moore-esque endeavor.

On another note, but completely relevant-- the digital revolution is upon us. Because Deano cares so much about others (heart of gold) she made a video of how to hook up a new digital converter box. I have tried unsuccessfully to embed the video here. So... check it here.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

sage advice.

Normally, when one thinks of a sage (sage adj 1: having wisdom that comes with age and experience) Beyonce, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams do not come to mind. Actually, no pop stars, current or past, should come to mind, unless of course you are referencing the wisdom that is Destiny's Child.

Let's dissect.

Independent Women
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own car note,and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships

Tell me how you feel about this
I do what I want if I wanna live
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
Ladies, it ain't easy bein' independent ...
Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I brought
Braggin' on that cash that he gave you is to front
If you're gonna brag make sure it's your money you flaunt
Depend on no one else to give you what you want

Here, they are pleading for women to be independent from men. They are asking ladies to throw their hands up and pay their own bills, live their own lives. Great advice. Sound advice.

Nasty Girl
Nasty put some clothes on, I told ya
Don't walk out your house without your clothes on, I told ya
Girl what ya thinkin' bout lookin' that to' down, I told ya
These men don't want no hot female that's been around the block female, you nasty girl

Shakin' that thang on that man, lookin' all stank and nasty
Swore you look cute girl in them dukes, booty all out lookin' trashy
Sleazy put some clothes on, I told ya
Don't walk out ya heezy without clothes on, I told ya
You nasty girl, you nasty you trashy
You classless girl, you sleazy you freaky
I ain't never met a girl that does the things that you do
Change don't come your way it will come back to you
Put some clothes on girl

Quite possibly the best song ever written by DC. How many young female singers are out there asking girls TO PUT CLOTHES ON? I mean, they are not only asking girls to put clothes on they are being honest and telling them they look trashy, classless and sleazy. We need more of this honesty from today's pop culture icons.

If your status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things, If you know what I mean
If your status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street

Another good one-- ladies, don't settle for a geek, get someone with street cred and someone who can carry your groceries. I think that's what they mean by, "carry big things, if you know what I mean."

Monday, January 12, 2009

resolutions: an update.

1. Get my hair cut. Nope. Dang it. 
2. Work on my singing voice. I don't even technically know how to do that. 
3. Stretch more. I think about it a lot. 
4. Watch more reality tv. CHECK. 
5. Adopt a highway. Researching. 
6. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes. No one wants me to borrow their shoes. 

Even more things I do not want to do: lose my cellphone, fall off a building-- more than once, get thrown from a moving vehicle, rename all the animals in the world (and write them down), shoot a goat, eat a  live duck and/or walk to work on a semi-regular basis. 

Thursday, January 8, 2009


I absolutely do not believe in New Year's resolutions or have any plans to track these resolutions/changes, but here they are (in a particular order):

1. Get my hair cut.
2. Work on my singing voice.
3. Stretch more.
4. Watch more reality tv.
5. Adopt a highway.
6. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

Things I hope not to do: gain weight, hit any dogs with my car, trip in front of a lot of people, lose my eyesight for any amount of time.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

falling into you.

We were a tad behind the technology times at 369 Ridgeview Lane back in the 90s. I was in 7th grade before I got a CD player and I think that was the first and only CD player in the house for quit some time. Upon receiving the CD player (which was a HUGE boombox) I got two CDs. One was Television's Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: From the 50's and 60's and the other was Celine Dion's Falling Into You.

I played Falling Into You on repeat for hours, upon hours, upon hours. When I die, I want that CD buried with me. By far my favorite song was It's All Coming Back to Me Now, which is the ultimate road-trip-sing-a-long song of all-time ever.

Last night when Celine sang It's All Coming Back to Me Now last night I was the happiest person on the planet. I was immediately swept back to middle school and to the bowling alley in 10th grade where I played the song on repeat four times (it's 7 minutes and 28 seconds long) on the juke box for the youth group.

Here is Celine singing a piece of It's All Coming Back to Me Now.

river deep, mountain high.

When I was a little girl I didn't have a rag doll, but I did have a puppy. He didn't follow me around though-- he bit my neighbor.

I've never been high on anything other than life (unless you count the time my youth group leader gave me drugs that she thought to be Tylenol and turned out not to be, leading to an emergency trip to the Dardanelle Hospital), but last night may have been the most wonderful high of my life (to date)-- seeing Celine Dion perform live. Directly in front of me, actually.

She is the most absurdly ridiculous person to ever live and she puts on a hell of a show.

I hope someday to give my children a gift as great as the one I gave myself last night. But, until that happens I'll continue to re-enact the show in my living room on a fairly regular basis.

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