I just don't think all the single ladies should be limited to wishing people a Merry friggin' Christmas via the typical mass text. No, I wanted to do what everyone else is doing and send a family Christmas letter.
Against my better judgement I'm posting the letter I sent out.
Most of it, anyway. It's a long one.
Merry (late) friggin' Christmas.
Here we are again, that familiar time of year where all is merry and bright. That time of year where the people on the street have a bell to ring rather than just a sign. Yes, it’s Christmas time.
The year of 2009 (the year of the ox, according to the Chinese calendar) was a big one for me. It was a year of many firsts, lots of routine activities, several “never again” and a few extremely interesting experiences.
2009 presented me with my first opportunity to visit New York City, where I attended my first Yankees game. I also traveled to Philadelphia (which was a spot of many firsts for this great nation of mine) for the first time where I marveled at the historic sites and took an individual photo more times than I’d like to admit. I also ate a dipped chocolate chip cookie for the first time. This produced a sugar high like nothing I’ve ever eaten and certainly proved to be an interesting experience for those with me. I went to the hospital on March 11 to serve as a fill-in sister for a dear friend and was one of the first people to welcome a precious baby into the world. This baby is in no way related to me (minus that she’s my sister in Christ), but I have found that I love her with an unconditional love that I have only experienced with pizza, vodka drinks and the internetS. Other notable firsts for 2009 included, but are not limited to: first Celine Dion concert, first Beyonce concert, first time to wear a real women’s watch rather than an over-sized men’s watch with a dirty band, first time to live alone, first time to want to hug George W. Bush after seeing protestors in Dallas when he moved back, first time to consume alcohol on an airplane, first time to eat onions and lettuce on hamburgers and sandwiches and of course, my first time to bring a boy home, fall in love and have my heart broken (I mean, you can’t win them all. And I know that for a fact because I played high school basketball on a team that once lost by 68 points).
Upon reflection, the routine activities are the ones I am most thankful for in 2009. Where it was extremely exciting to experience onions on a sandwich for the first time in 2009 it was even more rewarding to have the routine of waking up every morning, going to a job that I don’t hate, regularly visiting Arkansas and being received countless times with open arms, attending a plethora of weddings and seeing dear friends make a lifetime commitment, attending more than one Razorback game where they met every one of my expectations by letting me down right when I found myself hopeful and of course there’s the daily routine of washing, drying and brushing my pretty-much perfect head of hair. Yes, it’s the routine and every day activities that prove to be the most fulfilling because they serve as a daily reminder of how blessed I am.
What would a year be if some lessons weren’t learned along the way? After a few not-so-awesome moments it can be rest assured that I will never again watch the HBO show, “True Blood,” nor will I ever give 10 bucks to the homeless lady by my office and expect her to remember me the next day and not continue to ask for money, I won’t “reply-all” to an email without first checking who I am replying-all to and I won’t volunteer to be on my office’s party planning committee unless I actually want to plan some parties.
This year also proved to be full of some really interesting incidents. For example, one day I was driving to the grocery store and after switching lanes by correctly using my turn signal to caution other drivers that I was, in fact, switching lanes this other driver took it upon herself to follow me to the grocery store and get out of her car and point her finger at me as if it were a gun and then mouth a not-so-friendly phrase to me. There was also a really interesting conversation with my boss that resulted in a promotion and a lot more responsibility. That was probably the most interesting thing that happened this year besides the time I saw a midget riding a BMX bike down Interstate 35. Or the time a 56-year-old doctor told me he would take me out for Valentine’s day and would take me shopping.
As you can probably infer 2009 was kind of a big year for me personally and professionally. You can figure that out just because I used the word professionally outside of my job.
In conclusion, I do hope this letter finds each of you well and that if your stockings are hung by the fireplace, that they really are hung with care, because I would hate for them to catch on fire. I also hope that during this time of year you are taking time to celebrate the fact that Jesus Christ was born and brought into this world so that each of us could have life everlasting in Him.
Merry Christmas, bitches.
Signed with much fervor,