Thursday, April 23, 2009

follow me.

The chances of me caring about what you are doing at almost any time of the day are incredibly low. For instance, I don't care if you are at Target and there is a sale on shampoo. I don't care if you're drinking a beer and you spilled it. I don't care if you're going to bed.



I only care about these things if you are at Target and saw you Beyonce buying shampoo, or if you spilled your beer on Shakira and the only reason I would care if you're going to bed or not is if you don't plan on ever waking up again.



So, with that, I ask-- what's up with Twitter? (Yes, I have a Twitter account and yes, I've made approximately 7 updates. None of which involved any mundane updates on the wind blowing or what I'm watching on television.)


I just don't get Twitter. Texting took over actual phone calls, what seems like years ago, and internetS chatting took over face-to-face conversations long before that. What is Twitter going to replace? All-of-the-above? Breathing? Family functions? Reality television (Lord, I pray that it's not reality tv)?

I sound bitter over Twitter. Not true. It has brought me much joy the past few days, most notably Heidi Montag's site, but even after the giggles I still don't care that Heidi "loves the new soulja boy song! da da da dat dat."

I guess I'm just saying the only important person who was every really worthy enough to be followed when he said, "follow me," was Jesus. Which makes me wonder if Jesus would Twitter...


Jesus316 @HeavenlyFather There's like 5,000 peeps here. I have 4 fish. Please advise.
2 minutes ago from TwitterBerry

Jesus316 @TaxManCometh I can see you.
5 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Jesus316 @PeterRock You aren't going to make it! Get back on the boat.
5 minutes ago from TwitterBerry


PeterRock @Jesus316 I'm on a boat!
7 minutes ago from TwitterBerry
Jesus316 @ Judas_1_Awesome You've got to be kidding me. Get serious.
2 hours ago from TwitterBerry


If Jesus starts to Twitter I'll jump on the band wagon. Guaranteed.

5 comments:

Laura said...

those cannot be real tweets. did you create all those accounts and make them have those conversations?

Laurie said...

LOL I don't get Twitter either

Melanie said...

this is awesome.
and I dont get twitter either.
it feeds people's egos and makes them believe are the center of the universe.
sick.

BJ and Karen said...

you are so funny - i will ask them same question as laura... did you make all those twitter accounts for this blog entry... i cannot lie, these tweets may have trumped your bible character portraits that everyone loves - too funny.

Annie said...

Do you really think that is REALLY Heidi Montag's twitter?

See, that's what I don't get about twitter. How do you know it really is the "famous" person himself?

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