Several (and by several, I mean, many) years ago a precious lil' baby gUrl was born to some proud parents, for the purpose of this story, we'll call them Benny and Donna.
When the gUrl was little her parents had big hopes and dreams for their first child. Little did they know she'd surpass all of those hopes and dreams and not only become her high school's homecoming queen and student council president, but also become dangerously good at body rolls and shopping.
She took her love of fashion and dropping it like it's hot all the way to Samford University where she decided she'd like to go into ministry, only later to quit because the paycheck couldn't support her outlet mall shopping habits.
Nonetheless, the gUrl grew up and today she turns 28. She's a dear friend, has a big heart and usually carries an even bigger purse. She can body roll with the best of them and has been called "The White Beyonce" on more than one occasion. She is afraid to get dirty and almost never leaves the house without "putting her face on," but, that's why she's Tay-Tay Nasty Woo-Face (I swear on my life and all the dead presidents that she gave herself that nickname) and that's why we love her and call her friend.
So, to the gUrl who once told me I was, "somewhere in between kind and demeaning," I hope your birthday is somewhere between just plain shitty and all-around wonderful. If I was in Austin today I would buy you a drink, because Lord knows you can't get enough of those. And after that I'd choreograph a dance to "Pokerface" for you and tell you that I love you dearly and I'm so very thankful to be in your friend bank. You make my life and a whole slew of others' lives much, much better...and eventful.
Here's to Taylor (SHOUT OUT).