Monday, October 19, 2009


Let me tell you the residents of Rt. 2 Box 166 (now a different address, but for the purpose of protecting my beloved parentals privacy and their precious dog, I will not reveal it) loved some Kool-Aid, well my mother preferred Diet Dr. Pepper or Diet Coke, but the rest of us could drink some Kool-Aid. Our favorites were, without hesitation, black cherry and tropical punch. Later in life, lemonade became a favorite and on occasion my Brosef would get crazy and mix two flavors together much to the delight of The Reg and me.

People love Kool-Aid. For good reason: tasty and cheap. Cheap and tasty.

People love Kool-Aid so much that in 1978 some 900-odd people drank Kool-Aid poisoned by cyanide. This happened in Guyana in a case eventually referred to as Jonestown. This mass suicide is where the phrase, "Drinking the Kool-Aid" came to play. These 900-odd people were drinking Kool-Aid given to them by their cult leader, Jim Jones. 900-odd people were totally drinking Jones' Kool-Aid, believing and following every last thing he said up until their deaths.

Most likely to serve Kool-Aid at their children's weddings:

President Barack Obama-- This man's Kool-Aid is so delicious he received a Nobel Peace Price for flavor and taste. He received the award well before his first batch was even ready. He had barely filled up the pitcher with water and even now, it's not even half-full. Essentially, there's no Kool-Aid to drink, only a promise of cool, delicious, refreshing Kool-Aid.

Tim "Messiah" Tebow-- This kid's Kool-Aid is so good they gave him a Heisman. And sometimes it's just above average good and people think they are drinking his Kool-Aid from 2007, when really they aren't. He celebrates his Kool-Aid way too much and in turn, people over-hype it. Sometimes other members from his team try to share their Kool-Aid and people come from nowhere to stick Tebow's Kool-Aid in front of his teammates'. People get drunk off of his Kool-Aid and that's never good.

I'm not trying to hate, or maybe I am, I'm just saying-- a Nobel Peace Prize, really? Like...come. on. What are the requirements for this honor? Promises? Hope? Being a minority in a traditionally-majority role? Being a best-selling author? Having cute kids? Drinking beer and being normal, while leading the free-world? If that's the case I could nominate more than one person for this "prize" and I think I'll start with myself.

As far as Tim Tebow goes, I'd just like to say that I very much appreciate his advancement of the Gospel, but that in no way makes him Jesus. I was just like that kid in college and no one worshipped the ground I walked on (save Kaylee and Jilliams).

While I'm at it, I'd also like to caution the drinking of Kool-Aid being distributed by the following: Sarah Palin, Fox News, Oprah, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, people who say, "Happy Holidays," people who change the oil in your car, Balloon Boy's family.

Kool-Aid is good, when it served in a cool, tall un-bias glass.

1 comment:

Morgan said...

according to those standards for the nobel peace prize, you are eliminated from the running. you don't drink beer. i'm still in it. yes...

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