Let's be honest: this is not an apology. I've done nothing that warrants an apology-- it's more of a, "let's clear the air" on this subject matter.
Yes, I prefer you over Adam Lambert (although, I'm so envious of Adam's eyeliner application). Yes, you're talented. Yes, you're cute. Yes, you're incredibly humble and love Jesus. Yes, your family was super precious this last week when you went home. So, you're wondering where my undying support is, because above all-- you hail from Arkansas, the mighty Arkie.
Well, here's the thing, Kris, you claim Conway as your hometown. Conway. Conway! The one place in Arkansas that makes my skin crawl and my heart hurt. Conway. Every single time Ryan Seacrest says, "Conway," I shutter. And that's the simple truth of it-- I can't declare my all-out support for you because you claim Conway as your hometown.
Maybe that seems a little much, but I'm sorry, that's just how I was raised. Maybe it's because one day Conway and Russellville were neck-and-neck for normal, quaint little town of 30,000ish people and then out of nowhere Conway took off, got a Chili's and a Chick-fil-A and never looked back, leaving Russellville all alone with their Cracker Barrel and two Burger Kings to claim. More than likely, it's the pain that was inflicted on my poor youthful soul by various Conway athletic teams that keeps me from thinking Conway is an acceptable town to even drive through.
I don't know, but I can't apologize for sticking to my guns on this one, Kris. I hope you understand. I hope you win, too. But, I just can't get on that train. I just can't and I won't.
Not your biggest fan,
a cyclone forever