Monday, December 1, 2008

an open letter to casey dick.

The last pass of Casey's career.
Praise Him. It's over.

Dear Casey Dick,

It is not a sad day in Arkansas. Waking up on Saturday was like Christmas morning-- I immediately thought-- today is the first day in four years that Casey Dick is not my quarterback. We are rid of you-- forever!

I know I probably seem like a crazy, psycho fan who has too much time on their hands, but let me assure you, that is not the case. I just loathe you. Plain and simple: you are the thorn in my side.

I know you heard me screaming before the last play of your career, "complete this pass and I'll take back everything I've ever said about you." Well, Casey, I lied. I just don't understand how you even got a college scholarship. I mean, if you are throwing footballs in the SEC, I should've easily been shooting baskets in the Big 12. I, too, was a sub-par high school athlete.

I want to make sure you know this isn't personal. I don't even know you. I did look at your Facebook profile once. I didn't like your jeans. But, I don't like a lot of people's jeans, so no harm done.

This letter is more of a hey! good luck in the future letter! Just promise me that future leads you far, far away from Razorback Stadium...swear to me, Casey! Swear to me! Stay.Away.from.Razorback.Stadium.

Bring your kids in a few years, tell them about how you beat LSU two years in a row and everyone loved you (for a brief moment). I'm sure it's hard to be hated by a whole state. I don't envy you. But, I don't feel sorry for you either. You probably should've quit after those 18 interceptions in 2007.

Anyway, this is getting carried away-- good luck to you, sir. I really hope you're attending class. Get a business degree, I am sure some old school alumni will give you a job, just based on the fact that you played football for the Razorbacks. Just don't drop the ball on those TPS reports.

Thanks for nothing,

your biggest fan (now that you're gone)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

um, that's reynolds razorback stadium missy

Share This