Lately, the lyrics have really been causing me some grief. I just don't get it. I mean, I get the part about him wanting to go see Jesus and declaring that his gifts are no good for him (kind of like how my works and deeds are useless to Jesus, he just wants me!). Here's what I don't get: he took a drum to play for a newborn baby. pa rum pum pum pum
I cannot think of less soothing instrument to play for a person, much less a tiny newborn baby. pa rum pum pum pum
And then, the Lil' Drummer Boy just starts straight up lying and humble-bragging. First, he says the ox and lamb kept time. No. No, little boy, an ox and a lamb did not tap their feet while you played a drum for baby Jesus. pa rum pum pum pum
Then, he says he played his best for him and that Jesus smiled at him. No. No freakin' way! pa rum pum pum pum
There's just no way any of this happened. Oxen and lambs can't keep a beat (everyone know they're the total whities of the animal world-- they can't shoot hoops either). Second, newborn babies don't smile!
While I'm thinking about this song I'm imaging two scenes. The first scene involves me showing up at a baby shower without a gift, but with a snare drum in hand. I ask to just perform for 30 minutes. It doesn't end well. pa rum pum pum pum The second scenario has me showing up to a hospital nursery with a snare drum and being escorted out within seconds.
Somewhere a third scenario involves me getting the ox and the lamb into the hospital, too. They accidentally kick over the Purell and all hell breaks loose.
pa rum pum pum pum