Monday, August 23, 2010

bachelor pad: STDs the gift that keeps on giving.

I really like that they are starting each week with the ending-drama from the week prior, but would they really sit around and talk like that? I think the producers make them! Tricky-tricky!

Who made Gia President Pro Tempore of the Senate? She's making rules, cutting deals and talking with a slight lisp. She's cracked out. She's blaming poor little Nikki for ruining the game, but again...Gia went rogue.

Oh, good...Pony Boy is back and the "outsiders" are, too!

So, let's talk about this kissing competition. Gag. In all honestly, I don't know that I've ever seen anything so repulsive on network television before. There is p-o-r-n music playing in the background of this kissing competition. I can't even write the actual word because who knows what kind of freaky stuff will end up on google if I do.

I really think Tenley might have something wrong with her brain. Did she start crying a little when the other gUrls told her they thought number 3 was Kippy-Skippy? She did!

Good for Ashley and Gia for skipping out...but, that Ashley chick has now skipped out on two competitions. How does that work? Where'd Peyton come from? She must have learned something working for Delta Delta Delta. She didn't see it coming. America didn't see it coming.

I'd like to discuss Krisily now. First off, that isn't a real name. Second, her hair is OUT OF CONTROL. Third, is she serious? Fourth, but, really, is she being serious? Fifth, she legitimately decided she's in love after kissing a guy blindfolded during a competition. That's some sixth grade bullshit, right there.

Now, I'd like to discuss Natalie. Actually, I don't want to. I'm just going to pray for her.

Kippy's rejection of Tenley was one of the most interesting things I've ever seen. For the first time, like, ever she was right-on when discussing what happened, "I feel like I got rejected." Yes, you did.

This whole Peyton and Jesse B. thing is just. Ewwww. It's like, she's the preacher's kid in high school and starts dating the town loser, who definitely either drives a Firebird or a big ass truck. He's like every single guy I went to high school with-- but, worse. Way worse. What does, "we got rough last night," even mean? And I swear after the date was over Jesse B. said, "well, we're together now." Oh, are you? That's TWO, count 'em, TWO "relationships" Jesse B. has had in the house now. Come on!

It's hard to even believe anything that comes out of Gia's mouth. I'm fairly certain she's never heard any music before if that song Wes has played over and over again on television makes him comparable to Shakespeare. How did this happen? I've been on retreats before. I've worked at a summer camp-- granted, there was no alcohol at either place, but I'm just not sure how these "relationships" come about. What's the saddest thing about Gia and Wes is that, at first, Wes was just falling all over her and she was kind of playing it cool and now she's like the ninth grader dating the senior quarterback. The only problem? This guy isn't even on the football team! He's more like the quarterback that graduated years prior and is hanging around games to pick up gUrls. He's totally the 26-year-old that comes to prom.

Best line of the night: "Personally, getting to know the weatherman, I don't think he's funny, I don't think he's cute. I really don't like the guy." -Elizabeth

FINALLY. Who does really like that guy? High-on-Xanax-Gia?

Wes was looking pretty desperate walking around threatening everyone like this is real life or something. I mean, Gia still has a boyfriend at home, right? Am I right? However, she did say in the after-the-boot-limo-ride, "If I would have stayed another day, I would have told him how I feel." Oh, really? Like, he doesn't know how you feel?

Second best line of the night: "If I win $250,000 I'll be on a plane to New York." -Wes

But, if he doesn't win it, he won't be? I mean, plane tickets can be pricey, but that pricey? I don't know...

Other questions: Is it just me or is Elizabeth crossing over the line of "bat-shit-crazy" to "for-real-y'all-she's-crazy?" What do we think Natalie does for a living? Do we think Natalie's parents are completely and utterly ashamed of her? What does Melissa do for this show? What is her purpose?

I will be reading the dictionary from cover-to-cover until next week to gain back all of the brain cells lost from this week's epi. Thanks.

1 comment:

Lauren Lashlee said...

Oh LC... you couldn't have put the recap in better words... I am embarrassed to admit that I watched it last night and I agree with you on ALL levels. LOVE your post title as well. That was some sick stuff.

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