Thursday, July 30, 2009

an open letter to 44.

Dear Mr. President,

I don't even know where to start this letter (or web log, it's whatever), because more than anything I don't want to start a political holy war or criticize everything you're doing because I started thinking about it and I'd really hate it if someone sat around and wrote something for the whole internetS to see about my job/work ethic/dog choice/other things that are escaping me right now. What I'm trying to say is-- I'm not looking to attack you or tell you that you're an idiot. Just so you know.

Anyway. Here's the deal: I didn't vote for you. There were a few reasons for this, but the main one being that I don't really agree with any of your policies and that's just the truth of it. After you were elected I vowed to give you a chance to prove me wrong and I promised to support you. But, dawg, you're starting to really frustrate me.

And when I say frustrate I kind of mean you're about to piss me off. Our country (this country that I love and cherish and would marry if I could) is in turmoil (Duress, Crisis, Shit city, Up a creek without a paddle). I realize that you inherited this sinking ship, but you also chose to captain it. I seriously doubt anybody forced you into running for President. So, you pretty much knew what you were getting into. I mean, regardless the current state of our country, it's the hardest job in the world and you totally knew that coming in.

All of that being said, I should get to the point of my spiel: I'm all about you shooting hoops with your boyz in the backyard. It's pretty chill that you have a picnic table, too. I like that you're taking your baby mama on dates, but I draw the line on a date-night that cost taxpayers upwards of $73,000. That's where you started to frustrate me. I mean, I know you're a 25% shareholder in GM and all, but was that really a good idea? Close to 10% of Americans are currently out of work, China owns my soul and probably the Washington Monument, too. The United States is in more trouble than a Southern Baptist caught dancing with a Catholic while holding a beer and preaching pre-destination at the Democratic National Convention. Yeah, it's that bad and I feel like you, Mr. President are standing by and watching this country deteriorate without even throwing a punch.

I'm all for you being "real" and "keeping it real" and everything that that means and doesn't mean. You are young, you have young children and you are attached to your Blackberry. Cool. That doesn't mean I need you tweeting Joe Biden during the day and drinking beers at night while the world watches. No, Mr. President, I need you to be the President. I need you to start acting a little more responsible and little less like a fraternity rush chair.

I need you to quit making grand speeches and do. I don't think that's asking too much. I'm tired of turning on the news and seeing you at a restaurant buying hamburgers and ice cream for your staff. I'm tired of hearing about the dates you're taking your wife on. And I'm really tired of you acting like you're another Joe Plumber (SHOUT OUT--bMayes) when you're actually not, you're the freakin' President of the United States of (FREAKIN') America.

Enjoy your little beer summit tonight, Mr. President and then please start doing some real work. That's all I'm asking.

Signed with much sincerity,
an informed and concerned citizen of these United States

I'm very well aware of the fact that Congress has a lot to do with things that are going on right now, but I thought I'd start at the top rather than writing a letter to 535 elected officials. But, I can if you want or if you want to just send this on yourself you can do that, too. It's whatever.

I'm not mad at you, just disappointed. In the beginning, I was starting to warm up to you and now I just don't know how I feel. I'm sorry, I hope we can still be friends after this.


Mrs. Frazier said...

o man, I love this post.

Kerri said...

scott said you are going to "disappear"

MiddleSwat said...

Never have I ever agreed with anything more. Put your brew down for a second and run the freaking country. Because I think, I THINK, that's what Americans (albeit the misinformed -- to put it lightly --ones) elected you to do.

Annie said...

You are AMAZING. Just so you know, I forwarded that post on to a few people. :)

Laurie J said...

So.... when are you running for office?

Anonymous said...

this is the greatest thing i've ever seeeeeen!

jesus said...

Baby Mama?


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