Tuesday, April 1, 2008

episode 3. lorenzo lamas is name dropped.

If you can't ride your father's Renegade coattails into stardom, you might as well go on reality tv.

I think I finally have The Bachelor figured out! Ok, stop me if you've heard this one-- 25 girls. One guy. Token ethnic girl. Token funny, drunk girl. One girl that everyone hates, but The Bachelor loves. Hated girl talks trash. Token girl that says, "I didn't come here to make friends." All the girls seem distraught and like they didn't know other girls would be there vying for the affection of the same man.

I don't understand how these girls can come on this show and get so freaking upset about their boyfriend (I use that term loosely. Very loosely. Like most of the women on this show)going on dates with other girls. YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS, SHAYNE and HOLLY. And I'm just saying-- if they pulled this card in the real world, the guy would split like Shawn Kemp (reference NBA player with 14 illegitimate children). There is just no way they actually think they are in love. Unless of course they are in 8th grade and if that is the case, then I take back everything I just wrote.

Shaynefinally dropped her dad's name and clearly Mr. Bachelor had no clue who he was. I'm confident though, that like all of us, he googled him immediately when he got back to his palace and was quite impressed with his list of films on IMDB. I am also fairly certain that everyone in the Bachelor's family will be getting Renegade on DVD for Christmas.

Robin is not awesome. I want to point that out and be very clear when I say this: she sucks. But, you can't blame a girl for being competitive and, "going after what she wants." All is fair in love and reality tv, right? And she told Noelle to not accept her rose if asked. Very sly move there, Robin. I'm sure she didn't notice that you are a total skeeze.

Poor little Amanda R. is just barely hanging on. She is the front-runner for normalcy, but is lacking the competitive/crazy-ass-psycho edge, one so desperately needs to be on this show. Kelly, the token funny, drunk girl grows on me every day, but that is because I am pretty sure she lived next door to me in the dorms freshman year. Marshashanananana really showed some courage during the rugby game. I cannot believe she is still walking. Good call on the getting hurt thing though, if you can't wow 'em, might as well make 'em feel sorry for you. Worked for me in high school. Works on reality tv.

1 comment:

Jared and Risa said...

Hilarious. And I didn't even watch it last night--amazing.

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