Wednesday, June 2, 2010

the hills: so boring they brought JB back.

"We're friends." --Brody
I'm so glad I'm not friends with any of these people.


StacietheBartender meets up with K-Cav for a doggie play date. Of course, they dish on boys, friends with benefits and flirting.

They literally said, "Let's go out and flirt." So, they do...


LoLo, has on some really tight jeans, as she walks in to meet up with her Kappa sister, McKaela. How did this meet up even happen? Oh, wait. I know-- it was forced!

"I would recommend being nice to Kristen. It's sort of a tough crowd." --LoLo
Does tough mean generally very rude and not friendly?


"We're on the prowl tonight." --StacietheBartender

K-Cav and Stace head over to Venice and some guy in plaid asks where they are from and then screams, "Colorado?"

They are having a difficult time picking up guys, but I figure that'll happen if you go out to a random ass bar at like, 8pm on a Tuesday. Not everybody is an alcoholic with a television show to film, K-Cav.


The Brody and McKaela are on a date. It's at a restaurant. A RESTAURANT. They even have plates! But, there's no food.


StephiePratt and Auds are on a mission to find a handbag. Auds reveals that RyanCab was living with her for a while. WHAT. She also reveals that it was a little too much. Duh. That hair, 24/7?

Auds says she has to work this week. But, then she invites Stephie to tag along. Sounds like a job to me.

"I think I'm going to get this because it'll look good with a spray tan." --StephiePratt
Well, of course.


Here comes McKaela with a resume! LoLo shows her around the studio and they both are dressed kind of like they are actually working.

This interview is really lame. The guy asks her literally, 4 questions and says, "Perfect. See you at 9am tomorrow." I mean...I know she's a pretty girl and not fat and supposedly has a college degree, but is it really that easy to get a job? In this economy? WTF.


K-Cav is doing some reps at the gym, Richard Simmons style. It's totally obvious that John is not an actual trainer. He's a big guy. I bet MTV paid him 30 bones because he was available at 2pm on a Tuesday.

StacietheBartender, who apparently carries a shovel around in her purse, comes to the gym to once again, DIG UP THE PAST. Let's talk about the past, Bartender, didn't you try to hook up with SpencerBoy?

"It's sad that you guys are friends and he's taking this girl that he barely knows over you. It's just rude." --StacietheBartender
But, actually, that is kind of what happens...


AP, LoLo and StephiePratt are at AP's job in their rocker clothes to check out Purple Melon, the band, not the fruit.

They are terrible.

Out of nowhere, AP says she needs to leave because lo and behold, JUSTINBOBBY is on the stage!

"Justin's band is up there." --AP
"Wait. What? Justin's in a band?" --StephiePratt
"I thought that was always a joke." --LoLo

"Like a muppet." --LoLo

This was one of the greatest scenes ever on television. I think LoLo and StephiePratt were genuinely surprised by the fact that JB is in a band and they really didn't know. What doesn't this guy do? I mean, he does hair and make-up, rides motorcycles, cooks, wears boots on the beach and now, we learn he's a drummer. This is what you call a modern renaissance man.

JB takes off all of his clothes and eventually, after the drinks kick in, AP is having a great time, clapping along and forgetting about her JoeSimpson knock-off of a boyfriend.

AP wants to say hi to JB and JB thinks she came to just see him and then, much like a meth addict, he spits out like 17 questions at her. She says, "So many questions," and switches the subject to his hair. Good move. Don't talk about anything that matters, AP.

"I can't believe he's in a real band." --StephiePratt
As opposed to all the fake bands out there.


RyanCabbiePatch shows AP around his house and I wonder how he can afford this house when he hasn't had an album out in years, much less a song on the radio. Does he still have a record deal? I'm going to get a record deal and buy a house.

AP starts getting weird and she knows she needs to tell the CabbagePatchDoll about JB. But, duh, she doesn't.

"I leave Thursday for like, 4 shows." --Ryan
"Maybe thats a good thing." --AP
I doubt that was the response he was looking for.


Look! LoLo is at work and the new intern, McKaela, is there, too! LoLo wonders if Brody has feelings for other people.

"Be observant." --LoLo
I feel like, typically, when you're warning someone about a relationship, you tell them to be careful or something, but rarely, if ever do you tell them to be observant.


The girlies are going out on the town. StephiePratt and K-Cav are hanging out together like K-Cav has totally forgotten that StephiePratt told her legs were tiny or something! How do you just forget something like that, K-Cav?

Stacie states for the 19th time this episode that she and K-Cav are on a man hunt. We get it.

Brody and TayTay show up and tell the girlies they are just raging. What the hell does that even mean? Clearly, he and I have different definitions of the word "rage."

Brody finally, after a few minutes of being pushed into it, apologizes to K-Cav for starting to date someone while he was banging her on the side. Stand up move, Bro.

JB walks in looking homeless.

"I don't think Spike's going to like this." --JB
I can only assume he's talking about Ryan and now, that is the best nickname for anyone ever.

AP is obviously nervous around JB and he's really trying to have a conversation, but she's making it difficult.

"Don't tell anybody."--JB
Well, she won't have to tell anybody, not only was a television show filming her hanging out with JB, but a whole bar saw it and commented on it.

Brody and K-Cav leave together. BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS.


Alright, seriously...this show is boring. I've been getting a lot of flack for blogging about it and it's getting harder and harder to defend it when nothing is evening happening on it. If the Pratties aren't back next week, there might not be a re-cap. Relax, I said might.

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