the monarchy.

Growing up, I had approximately three celebrity crushes: Jose Canseco, Joey McEntire and George Stephanopoulos. As I've aged my celebrity crushes only appear on History Channel documentaries because they're all dead.

Even though Prince William is my age, I have never had much interest in him. And though I have a weird attraction to partially balding men he just doesn't do it for me. I don't know why. He isn't ugly. He's educated. He has health insurance.

All that to say, this royal wedding stuff is really over my head. Like, way over my head. Like, I don't get it.

I want to get it. I want to be giddy as I'm watching this (which I am, right now), but I'm not.

Maybe I'm an uneducated American who's culturally inept.

Or.

Maybe I'm remembering that American patriots fought a war against this bullshit monarchy and said, "NO MORE ROYAL WEDDINGS." Or something along those lines. I guess they were more pissed off about paying taxes to a king without any representation in his government, but STILL. Jenna Bush got married and I didn't have to pay for it. Isn't this kind of the same thing? Yeah, he's in line for the crown, but...that crown isn't technically in charge of anything, I mean save a few things.

I guess in 30 years I can tell my kids all about this day.

Or, not.

It's a toss-up, really.

Side note: I absolutely would not mind people having viewing parties in my honor on my wedding day. I also would not object to sharing the stage with some really old English nuns, who I am totally prettier than, because that's what it's all about. Being the prettiest.

I would however object to my husband "choosing" not to wear a wedding ring. I don't care who the F you are, you marry me, you are mine and you will wear my damn ring.

#vacay.

I often wonder if my children are going to hate me. Maybe "hate" is too much, but I do wonder if they're going to think I'm the lamest person ever because, even at 27, I choose to go on educational vacations over relaxing vacations.

What if my children are even more lame than I am? What if my kids want to go to like, Civil War reenactments? I don't even go to those.

spoiler alert.

Have you heard the good news? I'm a little pre-mature in the telling of this story, but the tomb is empty! He has risen!

This morning, I have been thinking a lot about the Disciples as I do every year at this time. I'll never be able to wrap my mind around all the things they got to see and be a part of and it's likely that I'll never understand why I've been chosen to receive the free gift of salvation.

So, today I'm thinking about what happened after the stone was rolled away. The part of the story where Jesus was taking his stroll along, what I imagine to be a dirt road, actually, a sand road and he was making his presence known.

Luke 24 reads,

¹³ Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. ¹⁴ They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. ¹⁵ As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; ¹⁶ but they were kept from recognizing him.

¹⁷ He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. ¹⁸ One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

¹⁹ “What things?” he asked.

WHAT THINGS?!

How much do you love that Jesus, in the flesh, strolled up to them and casually asked, "What's the 411, people? What's the word on the street? What's good on TMZ?"

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

What would I have said to Jesus? Would I have known it was him? Would I have assumed Moses was wrong and the prophets were speaking some mumbo-jumbo? Would I have told him the story and been all like, "OMG, DUDE. So, like this guy..." Would I have paused to check a text message?

Later on, Jesus meets up with all of the Disciples and broke bread with them. It was then that their eyes were opened and they recognized Him. Again. CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?

In my heart, I want to believe I would know it was Him.

Just like today, I want to believe that I'm constantly walking in His will and constantly believing in His promises for me. But, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes, I miss the big picture. Sometimes, I miss Jesus walking next to me on the street and asking, "What things?"

It's my prayer that no misses the big picture. That everyone can see and believe in what Jesus did on the Cross. And that He did it for everyone.

bullet points.

• The other day I found a pack of cigarettes in the stairwell of my apartment complex. Being the helpful, health conscientious person that I am, I threw the pack and the lighter all the way down to the bottom of the stairs (smoking kills, you know?). The next evening, the same lighter and what I am assuming was the same pack of cigarettes, was in the same spot, only this time it was accompanied by a four-pack of empty white zin bottles. What kills me about this is that I respected (respected them, you know, because they tracked down their cigs in a sketchy apartment complex stairwell) the person behind the smokes, UNTIL I saw the empty white zin bottles. Who drinks that shit?

• I spent an inordinate amount of time watching the Women's Final Four this year (SHOUT OUT: BRITTON BENNETT) and found myself torn between who I was 10 years ago and who I am today. Ten years ago, I was truly interested in women's basketball. Today, it was simply a tad more entertaining than watching Jim Calhoun, the accountant-look-alike, coach his sub-par team to a national championship. Will I ever be able to talk to young LC and tell her not record (VHS-style) women's basketball games and go back and study them...and then talk about it publicly? Or will I simply carry around that shame forever?

• Russellville, Arkansas is now home to a TJ Maxx, I feel like I don't even know myself any more.

thoughts.

So, marriage has never been my end goal in life. I've never thought that marriage would be the end of me or the beginning of me. It could be the end of some things and the beginning of others, but I'm not going to get a monument for walking down the aisle or anything.

So...basically, I've succumbed to the fact that this could be it. Maybe it's just LC forever. Maybe. I mean, I hope not.

But, anyway.

I've been thinking.

IF, this is it, I really want to end up on an episode of "House Hunters" and have my BFF come on with me and say things like, "Those cherry cabinets are much more mature than what you have now." OR "That guest bedroom would be awesome for when your parents come to visit."

Or even, "I hate the tile."

And that's it. It's marriage or "House Hunters."

Marriage.

or.

"House Hunters."

** To any and all single males reading this: I'm a really good cook and I've been known to do laundry! PLUS, I'm good with finances. So, I would be willing to take marriage over "House Hunters."

wardrobe of my youth: bracket buster.

To say I've always had a "passion for fashion" would be accurate if you weren't talking about me specifically.

To continue on in our series of "Bracket Busters," we come out again with The University of North Carolina winning it all, as evidenced by the series of photos below. If /when UNC wins, you can't call me a bandwagon fan.

UNC basketball warm-up at least three to four sizes too big.

UNC soccer shorts, too!

Fashion plate.

MJ is UNC.

So, UNC wins it all based on James K. Polk and the terrible fashion choices I made in my youth?

james k. polk: bracket buster.

Which POTUS has the best shot at his alma mater claiming victory this March?
James K. Polk.

Who else could make a run? Gerald R. Ford and Bill Clinton.

Polk, the small mulleted man who served as the Governor of Tennessee and as Speaker of the House before becoming POTUS, is an 1818 graduate of the University of North Carolina. Clinton is a graduate of Georgetown and Ford, a former football player for the University of Michigan.

UNC is a two-seed in the East and is coming off a pretty bad loss to Duke in the finals of the ACC Tournament Championship. So, what do these Tar Heels have in common with Polk?

Not Terrible: Polk, before even garnering the Whig nomination for President in 1844 Polk vowed to only serve one term and set up four clear goals to accomplish. And that he did. Thus, making him not terrible.

UNC is considered one of the most successful college basketball programs of all-time. They’ve won five national championships and are number three on the all-times win list for Division I men’s basketball. Thus, making the program not terrible.

Storied rivalry: Polk, though efficient and effective during his term, was not without a thorn in his side. Enter: Henry Clay, the “Great Compromiser” and one of the greatest men to ever serve in the United States Senate (and House). If you wanted something accomplished or passed, you needed Clay on your side. Or, you had to go through Clay to get it done. Polk barely edged out Clay for the Whig Party’s nomination in 1844. Polk even lost his home state of Tennessee to Clay.

UNC is no stranger to hatred. Enter Duke. Eight miles apart from each other and no love lost. For either team to win a championship of any kind they have to beat each other—usually three times in a season, if not more. UNC leads the rivalry 131-101.

UNC gets the nod for “more” in every major success category, but ACC Tournament Championships. However, to a lot of people Duke has more prestige and is hated more. Much like Henry Clay is considered to be more successful and prestigious, but numbers don’t lie. UNC has five NCAA Championships, to Duke’s four. And Polk? Well, he was President and Clay wasn’t. (The Missouri Compromise didn’t even last that long anyway.)

That one thing: Polk’s hair, which was a mullet, is his one thing most people actually know about.

And UNC? Well, they’ve got that Michael Jordan guy as their one thing.

Ford and Clinton’s teams have a few things in common with their most notable alumni as well. Ford, an extremely well liked Congressman was never supposed to be President. He just kept getting bumped up the ladder. And Michigan? Well, they aren’t supposed to be fully recovered from their NCAA sanctions yet. Will Ford’s happen chance at the Presidency parlay this young Michigan team into the Final 4 only a few years after being banned from tournament play all-together?

Clinton tasted success young and never backed down from a challenge. Plus, his political successes ultimately led to the political successes of his wife, Hillary Clinton, current Secretary of the State. Georgetown, always the fighter and always a tough opponent to Big East foes gained notability in the 1980s through their legendary coach, John Thompson. Their current coach? Well, his name is John Thompson III and he’s Thompson’s son. My guess is he got the job the job thanks to Daddy-O. Kind of like Hillary. But, hey—a win’s a win.

So, there you have it.
It’s James K. Polk for the win.