Friday, April 29, 2011

the monarchy.

Growing up, I had approximately three celebrity crushes: Jose Canseco, Joey McEntire and George Stephanopoulos. As I've aged my celebrity crushes only appear on History Channel documentaries because they're all dead.

Even though Prince William is my age, I have never had much interest in him. And though I have a weird attraction to partially balding men he just doesn't do it for me. I don't know why. He isn't ugly. He's educated. He has health insurance.

All that to say, this royal wedding stuff is really over my head. Like, way over my head. Like, I don't get it.

I want to get it. I want to be giddy as I'm watching this (which I am, right now), but I'm not.

Maybe I'm an uneducated American who's culturally inept.
Or.
Maybe I'm remembering that American patriots fought a war against this bullshit monarchy and said, "NO MORE ROYAL WEDDINGS." Or something along those lines. I guess they were more pissed off about paying taxes to a king without any representation in his government, but STILL. Jenna Bush got married and I didn't have to pay for it. Isn't this kind of the same thing? Yeah, he's in line for the crown, but...that crown isn't technically in charge of anything, I mean save a few things.

I guess in 30 years I can tell my kids all about this day.
Or, not.
It's a toss-up, really.

Side note: I absolutely would not mind people having viewing parties in my honor on my wedding day. I also would not object to sharing the stage with some really old English nuns, who I am totally prettier than, because that's what it's all about. Being the prettiest.

I would however object to my husband "choosing" not to wear a wedding ring. I don't care who the F you are, you marry me, you are mine and you will wear my damn ring.

4 comments:

Kristin said...

I have always loved George Stephanopoulos - until I saw him stand next to Diane Sawyer. He's like 5'6".

Lauren Lashlee said...

I totally agree. I don't get it either. I forced myself to watch it (at 10am- DVR) to see what all the hype was about... but I still wasn't impressed... Maybe because it's just a show and the PM is the real boss... Or Maybe because there are still 400+ people missing in Tuscaloosa and they are finding bodies in ponds, fields, trees.... Maybe because America's priorities are sooo jacked up that they are blinded by their stupidity. Yes, I've been a little angry. Maybe i should blog about this. Hmmmm

Courtney said...

I made a remark very similar to yours regarding William choosing to not wear a wedding ring when talking to a co-worker today. She laughed as if I was joking. I was not joking. So glad to know I'm not the only one who takes issue with such a thing.

[random fact: sweet hillary R. turned me on to your blog during the bachelor recaps. then i told my sister she needed to read them, and turns out you two know each other as well. small world.]

Anonymous said...

why is an attraction to balding men labeled as "weird"

offended,

chris h

Share This