I'm sure a lot of my animosity on this subject stems from the fact that up until I was 16 or 17 I seriously thought I was going to play college basketball and be some sort of champion for something other than a competition in my head or one I created myself in my driveway. But, I don't know...
Ice dancing? How is this any different than figure skating...oh, I know...it's not as hard! Tiring? Yes, probably. More difficult than walking? I'll give you that, but...they don't even jump. And the costumes look like outcasts from an off-off-off-off-off Broadway production or something. I just don't get it. Just because they are breaking it down on ice doesn't mean I should have to suffer through it in prime time. Also, if this is dancing, where are the body rolls? Where's the bumping and grinding? I didn't see one dancer drop it like it was hot once. I'm just saying.
If you've ever been to a farm or a ranch or just a pasture I'm sure you had a gun and you shot a can or a random log in a pond or something. Yes, I grew up in Arkansas and yes, I did that growing up, but I never expected to get a medal for it. I wasn't on skis, but still...walking in grass up to your knees is hard. What's next? Cow-tipping in the summer games?
The more I think about it the more most of these events seem like they came from a drunk person bored with sitting inside and drinking.
Drunk1: You bored?
Drunk2: I'm drunk.
D1: Get the swiffer, let's go outside.
D2: Sounds fun!
D1: Ok, I'll push this rock down to the other end of the ice, you get the swiffer and clean the ice.
Seriously? It's not a sport if you can wear make-up, hoop earrings and your hair down. It's just not.
Can you imagine a worse punishment than cross-country skiing? Forget water-boarding, let's make prisoners ski cross-country a few hours a day. They'd crack.
"Seriously? It's not a sport if you can wear make-up, hoop earrings and your hair down. It's just not."
That to me reads like a race winning trifecta in dropping it like it's hot. I saw a girl doing that at Ernie Bigg's last week all while wearing almost-black lipliner, the biggest hoop earrings I've ever seen and some triple curling iron waves hanging freely over her shoulders.. next time I see her I'll ask if she thinks she could do it on ice. We'll turn ice dancing around.
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