Friday, April 29, 2011

the monarchy.

Growing up, I had approximately three celebrity crushes: Jose Canseco, Joey McEntire and George Stephanopoulos. As I've aged my celebrity crushes only appear on History Channel documentaries because they're all dead.

Even though Prince William is my age, I have never had much interest in him. And though I have a weird attraction to partially balding men he just doesn't do it for me. I don't know why. He isn't ugly. He's educated. He has health insurance.

All that to say, this royal wedding stuff is really over my head. Like, way over my head. Like, I don't get it.

I want to get it. I want to be giddy as I'm watching this (which I am, right now), but I'm not.

Maybe I'm an uneducated American who's culturally inept.
Maybe I'm remembering that American patriots fought a war against this bullshit monarchy and said, "NO MORE ROYAL WEDDINGS." Or something along those lines. I guess they were more pissed off about paying taxes to a king without any representation in his government, but STILL. Jenna Bush got married and I didn't have to pay for it. Isn't this kind of the same thing? Yeah, he's in line for the crown, but...that crown isn't technically in charge of anything, I mean save a few things.

I guess in 30 years I can tell my kids all about this day.
Or, not.
It's a toss-up, really.

Side note: I absolutely would not mind people having viewing parties in my honor on my wedding day. I also would not object to sharing the stage with some really old English nuns, who I am totally prettier than, because that's what it's all about. Being the prettiest.

I would however object to my husband "choosing" not to wear a wedding ring. I don't care who the F you are, you marry me, you are mine and you will wear my damn ring.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I often wonder if my children are going to hate me. Maybe "hate" is too much, but I do wonder if they're going to think I'm the lamest person ever because, even at 27, I choose to go on educational vacations over relaxing vacations.

What if my children are even more lame than I am? What if my kids want to go to like, Civil War reenactments? I don't even go to those.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

spoiler alert.

Have you heard the good news? I'm a little pre-mature in the telling of this story, but the tomb is empty! He has risen!

This morning, I have been thinking a lot about the Disciples as I do every year at this time. I'll never be able to wrap my mind around all the things they got to see and be a part of and it's likely that I'll never understand why I've been chosen to receive the free gift of salvation.

So, today I'm thinking about what happened after the stone was rolled away. The part of the story where Jesus was taking his stroll along, what I imagine to be a dirt road, actually, a sand road and he was making his presence known.

Luke 24 reads,
13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him.

17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

19 “What things?” he asked.


How much do you love that Jesus, in the flesh, strolled up to them and casually asked, "What's the 411, people? What's the word on the street? What's good on TMZ?"


What would I have said to Jesus? Would I have known it was him? Would I have assumed Moses was wrong and the prophets were speaking some mumbo-jumbo? Would I have told him the story and been all like, "OMG, DUDE. So, like this guy..." Would I have paused to check a text message?

Later on, Jesus meets up with all of the Disciples and broke bread with them. It was then that their eyes were opened and they recognized Him. Again. CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?

In my heart, I want to believe I would know it was Him.

Just like today, I want to believe that I'm constantly walking in His will and constantly believing in His promises for me. But, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes, I miss the big picture. Sometimes, I miss Jesus walking next to me on the street and asking, "What things?"

It's my prayer that no misses the big picture. That everyone can see and believe in what Jesus did on the Cross. And that He did it for everyone.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

bullet points.

  • The other day I found a pack of cigarettes in the stairwell of my apartment complex. Being the helpful, health conscientious person that I am, I threw the pack and the lighter all the way down to the bottom of the stairs (smoking kills, you know?). The next evening, the same lighter and what I am assuming was the same pack of cigarettes, was in the same spot, only this time it was accompanied by a four-pack of empty white zin bottles. What kills me about this is that I respected (respected them, you know, because they tracked down their cigs in a sketchy apartment complex stairwell) the person behind the smokes, UNTIL I saw the empty white zin bottles. Who drinks that shit?
  • I spent an inordinate amount of time watching the Women's Final Four this year (SHOUT OUT: BRITTON BENNETT) and found myself torn between who I was 10 years ago and who I am today. Ten years ago, I was truly interested in women's basketball. Today, it was simply a tad more entertaining than watching Jim Calhoun, the accountant-look-alike, coach his sub-par team to a national championship. Will I ever be able to talk to young LC and tell her not record (VHS-style) women's basketball games and go back and study them...and then talk about it publicly? Or will I simply carry around that shame forever?
  • Russellville, Arkansas is now home to a TJ Maxx, I feel like I don't even know myself any more.

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