Thursday, March 18, 2010

the vegas.

Last weekend, I went to the Vegas. It was my first trip to the Ed Hardy capital of the free world and it was surprisingly pleasant. I came home with cash in my wallet and no visible signs of impending death, so, in my book, I came home a winner.

I'm still not 100% sure how that happened, but it did. I mean, anywhere that expects me to wear heels and a dress two nights in a row is not the place for me. Any place that will give you free booze while you can literally throw your money down a toilet is not the place for me. And any place that is open past 10pm and frowns upon you resting your feet on a couch that said establishment provided is not going to wind up on my good list, the grace of God I came out on top. Vegas didn't beat me.

Here are the lc's tips on not letting the Vegas beat you:

1. Skip the sequins and the rhinestones. They just weigh you down. You need to be nimble in Vegas for two reasons, first, it's easier to pry yourself away from gaming tables and second, there are so many people around that it is difficult to move at times and the lighter you are on your feet, the better. So, stick with basic black and wear a broach or something. No sequins. No rhinestones.

2. Don't judge. If you're in Vegas, you're going to see crazy shit, remember that and live your life. Say some prayers while you're there and just go with it.

3. Just go with your heart. When you're gambling it's easy to get wrapped up in the fear and the "what-ifs," but like in any other life situation, it's best to just follow your heart. If your heart says to keep feeding the slot machines Jacksons, then keep feeding the slot machines Jacksons.

4. Don't sit down. If you're in a club and you want to stay there, don't sit down. Bouncers prey on girls who sit down.

5. Don't fall asleep. If you're in a club and you somehow managed to sit down, stay awake! Bouncers prey on girls who sit down and then fall asleep.

6. Remain fully clothed at all times. If there is any explanation needed you probably shouldn't go to the Vegas.

If you follow these guidelines you're assured to at least leave the Vegas alive, with most of your dignity in tact. However, these guidelines can be abandoned immediately if a Kardashian is in sight.

1 comment:

Dianne said...

you crack me up. but that is exactly my assessment of vegas. i went last yr for a wedding.

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