Monday, July 6, 2009

re: awesome.

Dear Beyonce,

You are on a short list. That list is a list of people who I am currently in awe of or have ever been in awe of: Jose Canseco in 1988, Ace Clement, a women's basketball player at the University of Tennessee (1998-2002), my grandmother Bonnie, Lily Riemer, for not using drugs during her labor, Jill Williams and you. That list gets even shorter when you consider the fact that Jose Canseco has been off it for years and although I would still love to go to dinner with Ace, she too is a fallen hero (not because of steroids, just because I grew up).

When I bought tickets to your concert months ago I knew it was one of the smartest decisions I had ever made. I had to join your fan club to get them early and at first I was embarrassed, but now I couldn't be more proud. I might even put a bumper sticker on my car. Or not. I haven't really decided.

Beyonce, I think you're the greatest performer I've ever seen and remember, I've been to a Nelly concert. I won't lie though: your dancers were much more risque than Nelly's. You never did anything to make me doubt that you love Jesus, but when your dancers did the "alley cat" during your last costume change I did have to turn my head.

I thought your concert was entertaining from beginning to end and I'm even counting the part where you put the picture of Michael Jackson on the screen, gave a little speech, started singing "Halo" and changed the lyrics to, Michael, I can see your halo. That part was so cheesy it had me doubled over in laughter. I pulled it together before offending the people behind me, but Beyonce...GET SERIOUS.

Beyonce, I can't believe that you can do the dance moves you do in heels. I can't believe the dance moves you do period, actually.

Beyonce, you should be president. I know a lot about presidents and I think you'd be a pretty good one. Just get a good cabinet in place to support you and you'll be golden.

Thanks for sharing your talent with the world.

your biggest fan of all-time, but I swear I'm not creepy,

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