not shocking.

Come on, who was honestly shocked last night while watching The Bachelor? I know this is a family- friendly blog, that constantly proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ, so you'll have to forgive me for the following: what a piece of shit. I mean, that is all that comes to mind. That asshole of a Bachelor is nothing but a piece of shit. 

He's like a senior in high school, dates the senior girl, his equal all throughout high school, then it's time for prom and suddenly, he breaks up with the senior girl and asks out the sophomore. Piece. of. Shit. 

Jason is not awesome, but I guess he is normal. I'll give him credit for that. I hope Molly buys some new jeans for Jason. His flare leg denims are stressing me out, period. 

coming soon.

Easter.

Nothing makes me as giddy as an empty tomb.

Nothing.

lent.

Oh, Lent...that season which means fasting and prayer before Easter for some and serves as a mini diet in the name of Jesus for others.

As a small Methodist child with John Wesley in my heart I often gave up things like cokes for Lent. Every single year actually until I was about 12. It was at that age I started to understand the true meaning of Lent-- I gave up pizza and Jesus replaced John Wesley in my heart, because let me tell you when you're going through pizza withdrawals ain't nobody going to be able to help you BUT Jesus. Amen.

The more I understood what Lent meant the more I came to enjoy the challenge and look forward to the sacrifice. Every year proved to be something even more hard than the year before. I think my ultimate triumph was giving up bread sometime in high school.

I love the people who give things up like Lent is a diet rather than a spiritual season. My freshman year in college two girls on my floor in Reid Hall tried to convince me that the Atkins Diet was the one thing I was missing in my oh-so-fabulous-19-year-old life. And remember, we're talking about the queen of starches and carbs here. I failed miserably at this diet and had a Pop Tart midway through day one. So, of course when Lent rolled around and the Freshman 15 had more than piled on, I was all about some Atkins Diet, I mean, giving up carbs for Lent. And guess what? I didn't lose any weight and I'm fairly sure I gained zero perspective in the matter.

You see, Lent's not about dieting. It's about sacrificing something for the one who sacrificed it all for you.

I mean, think about it-- Jesus died on a cross. Surely, I can make it 40 days without fast food or chocolate or pizza or bread or caffeine or the presidents or whatever your sacrifice of choice may be.








** This post in no way represents the views of Christians worldwide on the season of Lent-- just mine. This post in no way is out to condemn people who do not participate in the season of Lent, as it is a personal choice for everyone. This post in no way acts as a soapbox. This post in no way was meant to harm anyone. It was only written to offer up personal thoughts on a personal subject and to encourage anyone and everyone to participate in things for a reason, hopefully the right one. Amen.**

side of the road jesus.

You know how when you were little and sitting in church the preacher always told that story about people ignoring Jesus on the side of the highway (homeless, hitchhiker, orphan, stray kitten, etc;) and when they got to Heaven Jesus was a little bummed out that they ignored Him? 

That story really always moved me. 

Ok,  not really. Not until I was older. 

Maybe, not even until tonight. 

Ashley Scarlett approached me in the Chuy's parking lot. I had just enjoyed a meal with some friendlies of mine, Jaclyn and Taylor  (SHOUT OUT). She was noticeably distraught, not disheveled and not entirely homeless looking. Actually, not homeless looking at all-- she had a Blackberry and a fake (or could've been real) Louis Vuitton. I rolled down the window, much to the folly of my buddies. Miss Ashley Scarlett started talking and it was a good two minutes before we even knew what she needed. 

She gave me more details than a Wikipedia entry. Literally, she told me she had just met a friend for dinner that she used to substitute with in Weatherford. They met halfway because her friend is now in McKinney-- actually she said Collin County, then McKinney.  She continued to ramble on about her husband being out of town and owning some car dealership, she gave us the address of the dealership, her mother's maiden name, her sister's first daughter's social security number and a lock of her hair. She claimed  she left her wallet inside of Chuy's and that it was nowhere to be found. Apparently she knows no one in Dallas and I'm guessing her friend that she met for dinner was a real ass because she didn't come back to rescue her. 

She was almost in tears and I was convinced that no one would be able to make up all of that information in the middle of the parking lot off the cuff. She claimed she had no gas and no money. She couldn't get home. 

There is literally a gas station across the street from Chuy's. I told her to drive over there and I'd fill up her car. She said she wouldn't make it. I drove her over to the gas station and filled up a gas can for her. And I still wasn't too suspicious. 

And then, the attendant said, "are you buying this for her? Do you know her?" I told him no and he shook his head. I should've drawn the bridge diagram for him, but I just wanted Miss Ashley Scarlett to get back to Weatherford in one piece. 

Then, she asked me for cash. I told her the homeless guy at Greenville and Mockingbird bled me dry and she asked me to drive to an ATM. At any point I'm waiting on her to stab Taylor, who was sitting in the backseat with her.  Then, Taylor and Jaclyn told her we had no money and couldn't help her anymore. We sent ole Ash off into the cold, cold night with two gallons of gas and hopefully a warm story to tell at the nursing home tomorrow when she goes and visits her grandmother, who is probably very ill and couldn't come help her tonight. 

That's what I want to believe anyway.

Jesus or a scam artist-- I'm out 16 bones.  

the bachelor.

I've been keeping quiet for weeks now, just hoping and praying that this show would magically disappear or that my friends would suddenly lose all interest in it. Neither happened.

Allow me to be candid for a moment-- there was a sliver in time not too long ago where I thought this Jason fellow might be a fairly decent guy (based on reality TV standards, not my real life standards). I tried to forget the fact that he was dragging his three-year-old son into this fiesta from hell. I tried to ignore the fact that he kept saying all the ladies (I use that term very loosely) had amazing, "qualities," but rarely could come up with any specific qualities. Aside from, "beautiful person."

I can no longer ignore this bachelor. I can no longer sit by idly while America falls in love with this man.

Jason is a complete creeper clearly looking to get a piece. If that isn't the case then please tell me why he is left to choose between two 24-year-olds who have no business walking and chewing gum, much less caring for a child. I swear on my life Jason wants his son to endure years of therapy. It's like he wants a Lifetime movie out of this fiasco. Mark my words: this will end badly. Ty is going to end up on Dateline.

Can I just mention for a quick moment that the hot tub scene with Jillian was reminiscent of a late-night movie on Cinemax. And no, I don't have Cinemax or watch late-night movies. I'm just saying. She's classy. He's classy. ABC is owned by Disney? How did that even get on the air? I bet her parents are proud, "you go baby, you wrap those legs around him! Get it gUrrrllll!" Every father's dream right there, every. father's. dream.

I am writing a letter to my congressman begging him to propose legislation to get this show taken off the air forever. And ever.

Amen.

favorite thing in life (right now).

Right now, at this moment, on this day, nothing is bringing me greater happiness. I love this.

dear presidents.

Dear Presidents of the United States of America,

For those of you who are still kicking it breathing style, I hope you're celebrating today. There are very few people who can celebrate this day and really celebrate. It's not like St. Patrick's Day, this day is your day. Enjoy it.

God Bless America,
Lauren