Tuesday, May 26, 2015

the bachelorette :: kaitlyn : epi 2.

So, Kaitlyn apologizes to no one for nothing and that house is stocked with a lot of vegetables and a lot of fruit. That being said, I missed about 27 minutes of the show because of severe weather. I was kind of hoping the cable would just completely go out, but it didn't.

I joined the show about the time Kaitlyn was "genuinely concerned" about Jerad. I tried to join right in, but some guy started crying when he talked about his mom cooking all the meals, so I just skipped it all.


Kaitlyn takes Clint on a date in her late '80s Mercedes. I think it's supposed to be vintage, but I don't know much about vintage things.

Apparently, underwater photo shoots are "all the rage," so that is what is happening today.

"Hopefully, we'll have a good connection." -- Clint
Because, there's no better place to chat and get to know someone than underwater. 

Back at the house we learned what love is about and what love isn't about. It's not about beating someone's ass, but it is about discussion.

Kaitlyn's biggest struggle during the photo shoot is not being able to plug her nose. Can you imagine being underwater and not being able to plug your nose? How hard is life?

"That was different because I've never had a first kiss underwater." -- Kaitlyn

At the end of the day, Kaitlyn is just looking for a best friend to make out underwater with. And guess what? That's what Clint is looking for, too.

"You're exactly what I'm looking for." -- Kaitlyn


Kaitlyn takes the guys on a group date to an improv show/club where Amy Schumer is waiting.

Amy has the guys tell the best joke they know and they are all jokes a child would tell during an elementary school lunch.

Image Source: ABC Press 

Everyone is focusing on that dentist's shirt. It is a weird color.

JJ, the former investor banker, is super into this date. Also, we learn that he is divorced with a child and lives with his parents.

That's why he is carrying that title around. His mom told him to tell everyone that.

The dentist is really nervous and his jokes sucked, so he just unbuttoned his shirt. Kaitlyn called it "endearing."

Finally, it is Tony's turn. He's so excited he could gag.
First time I've ever heard that one.

Tony starts his set off by giving a speech about thankfulness and gratitude. He never told a joke.

JJ's set must have killed it, because we got to see one joke.



"I'm a love virgin." -- Welder

JJ wants to know if everyone is still interested in winning over Kaitlyn's heart and Tony let him know, that yes, he is.

Then, we learn that Tony was into Britt, but now Kaitlyn has figured out the combination to his heart.

Kaitlyn is very attracted to a man with a child. Clearly, JJ did not lead with the pickup line about living with his parents and being divorced. She was so into him that after he kissed her, she said, "thank you for doing that."

Joe took Kaitlyn outside and just kissed her. They didn't talk at all.

JJ got the rose.



Kaitlyn feels #soblessed to be in that room with her future husband.

JJ pulls Kaitlyn outside and DEM BOYZ are MAD. Mad. Mad. He is not there to make friends. FORMER INVESTMENT BANKERS DON'T PLAY.

Why is JJ the only guy walking around drinking red wine? That concerns me more than anything.

What is an executive recruiter? Maybe JJ should give the Old Spice guy his resume?

Ian compares his experience in the hospital and maybe not being able to run/walk again to... this.
He thinks being on a reality TV show to a lot like being in a coma.

I've never been in a coma or on a reality TV show, but I don't see it. IDK. IDK.

Everyone hates JJ. He wants to say he's sorry, but he's not sorry.

Tony is the most upset. He thinks "basic respect" has been manipulated. Good luck to Tony in life. Forever.

Kupah (not the guy from Mario Bros.) doesn't want to be there any longer than he has to be. He knows he could be filling a minority quota. Too soon, Kupah. Too soon. This show has been on for 13 years or something-- you can't bring that up now. Then, the conversation got weird and Kaitlyn and Kupah spent the whole time accusing/asking the other, "do you SEE me?"

If someone asked me, "do you SEE me?" I would take them very literally.

Kaitlyn does NOT see him anymore. She did see him, but now she does not see him.
She saw when they talked about music and before this, but now she cannot see him.

Kaitlyn has lost her eyesight.
She can hear everything he is saying, but she just needs some time now.



Kupah goes back to the group to replay his conversation and Kaitlyn hears every word he says, so she calls him out and asks him to leave right there. gUrl don't play.

"That's pretty shitty." -- Kupah
"Yeah, it is." -- Kaitlyn

"I don't want to go home." -- Kupah
This is getting bad. 

"I think you're hot." -- Kupah

Kupah is just chugging his drink and trying to fight. This is the worst breakup I have ever seen on this show.

Kupah questions the producers and just wants to GO HOME, DUDE.
He's yelling and Kaitlyn ain't PLAY'N.

And that was that.

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