Thursday, May 17, 2012

oy vey: the news.

I used be super into current events and knowing anything and everything that was happening in the news. This behavior was not good for my psyche or my view on society as a whole. The news is weird and depressing. Check out the following headlines currently on CNN.com.



Quake shakes bricks off walls in Texas
Several bricks? 

White babies are new minority
What about white adults?

Flesh-eating bug victim's fingers 'dead'
New mom hit with flesh-eating bug  
I'm sorry, what? Is this the same bug?


'Terminator's' Nick Stahl missing
Who?

380 white-powder letters, 1 suspect
Someone is working overtime. 

Horse bolts into ocean, swims 2 miles
I think this is something I could get into. Horses that swim?! Cool.

Get a 2nd cup. Coffee lovers live longer
What about the red wine I'm supposed to be drinking?

4,700 asteroids threaten Earth
That seems like a lot. 

UFO seen over Denver?  
Probably not.

French PM's name causes Arab giggles

GIGGLES? And this is a real news source.

LIVE: Biden talks cars  
You mean our Vice President? Cars? Like, the movie?


Ticker: Rove blasted for 'B.S.'
Bullshit?


Howard Dean hit by car on live radio  
Did someone see this? Or just hear it?

Man agrees to shoot friend  
I'd shoot a friend. Wait. WHAT.


Fugitive penguin scales 13-foot wall
THIS IS NEWS.


LIVE: 'Spray tan' murder trial  
THIS IS NEWS.


How much more can Greece take?
I feel like Greece and I are both on our last leg. 


'Butcher' gets break. Mladic trial on hold
PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sick boy uses robot to go to school  
Sounds right.


Man enough for 'Man Candles'?  
I hope not.





World, do better. 
Please. I'm begging. 



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